thewildhare

From a distance

2012-01-13T16:53:00.000-05:00

On our Thanksgiving walk Asa and Bella went out ahead. Asa was learning to walk Bella with a "loose lead" and she has a nice fast gait. I could hear him talking to her as they moved away from us and realized that his strides are much longer than a year ago. Oh, they have grown!

Look at my Carabella Mia! She is still a puppy in her heart, but I can already see the maturity in her eyes. She thinks more and figures out things - how to take a treat from a ball, how to find the toy we just put up, how to walk with us so that she gets longer walks. Her legs are longer and she is much much stronger. She is turning into a beautiful girl!

And look at this tall young man, my grandson! He was easily 3 or 4 inches shorter a year ago, still with a sweet little boy voice and a very wide open heart. He is taller, and smarter, and more thoughtful, and more interesting in this last year. He has opinions that are fun to explore, and interests that range far and wide.

He and Bella are waiting on us, looking forward to see what's coming down the road. I see him walking into the future, a fantastic young man. Grounded in the love of his family, certain of his own growing strength, confident in his ability to handle what he sees coming - but still making sure we are nearby, tracking with him, just in case.

He makes me very proud.

Finding my Personal New Year

2012-01-06T09:27:00.001-05:00

Here I am again, like I've been so many days before. January. Filled with lots of positive determination to make the New Year everything that it can be. Ready to make lists and check things off. Ready to balance the budget, lose weight, get fit, tackle clutter, be effective and efficient, be balanced at home and work, create, write, publish, and give thanks. Ready to GO!

Reading that paragraph again, I am exhausted. My own enthusiasm tires me out. I know I need to be careful, reflective. I think about how hard it is to kill old unhealthy habits, and how easy it is to make goals blithely that I don't have any REAL intention of meeting.

In the immortal words of Mr. Bryant, "People Do What They Really Want To Do," and that includes me.

So what do I Really Want To Do in 2012?

Well, I know I Don't Want To Be Exhausted all year. And I also know that I DO like to have a solid framework along with goals to stretch towards.

Over the last three years I identified a single word to frame my focus for the year. In 2011 it was Creativity. That lasted about 6 months, as we know. In 2010 it was Clarity. In 2009 it was Serenity. I am filled with words as I try to sort through What I Really Want To Do in 2012.

I thought I had my resolutions all figured out, that I was in good shape because there were "only five." Looking at them though, I wonder if I am being honest with myself. There is no doubt that this is a good list and that doing all these things would enhance my life. The real question is - do I have the energy and commitment, really?

Budget
Health
Publish
Learn a Second Language
Create

Or should my list look like this:

Family
Sufficient Rest
Diet
Positive Attitude

Again, a good list, yes? More realistic? Probably. But it also sounds basic, too "everyday." I want to push myself. I want to have a personally inspired reason to REACH. I want to strive to be better, to make more of a contribution, to be inspiring.

So there it is. All that thinking, and here is My New Year.

In 2012, I will Be Inspiring.

This is a pretty challenging reach, but I am up for it.

Wordless Wednesday - January 4, 2012

2012-01-04T07:21:00.001-05:00

Welcome 2012!

2012-01-02T10:53:00.001-05:00

Happy happy New Year to each and every one of you!!

My six month break from blogging was the start of a six month break from "me" stuff. I stopped blogging, writing, working in the sketchbook, spinning, knitting, scrapbooking, and crocheting. I didn't stop reading books, but every other thing went by the wayside except the very much needed focus on other priorities. We even stopped our Sunday grandson / grandmother trips to the game store for role-playing games.

Sounds like things were pretty quiet, yes? Well, during that time we:

had our annual family vacation at the beach which was wonderful as always. We took the puppies, and they both loved the ocean. After three days, though, Jack Junior got very very ill. He cried out in pain, was unable to walk, had urinary problems, and slept rolled up in a tiny ball. Mr. Bryant took him home the very next morning to get pain medication from the vet, while I stayed and took pictures and loved the time with the fam.

said goodbye to Ama as she went off to Portland. Mr. Bryant laid out her driving trip across the country, and we even found a cabin in Yellowstone for one of the nights of the trip. The drive took her to the Arch in St. Louis, Colorado to see friends, Yellowstone, Coeur d'Alene, and the Columbia River Gorge.
said Goodbye to Shannon and John and family as they went off to new adventures in Virginia.
put all the puppies on a new diet.
watched the puppies grow like weeds!

took Jack Junior to six vets and finally to NC State Veterinary School, where they diagnosed the infection that was crippling and killing him. We got him started on a three to six month course of antibiotics and noticed immediate improvement in his condition.
continued to take the puppies to Obedience Training.

flew the cats across the country to greet Ama in Portland.
learned the incredible blessings of being members of the Leonberger Community.

had a fabulous family Thanksgiving in the mountains hosted by Mr. and Mrs. McFadden.

had another wonderful Christmas hosted by Mr. and Mrs. Hanson.
went to an amazing New Years dinner with our very dear friends.

In addition to all this, I interviewed for a new job or two, adjusted to a restructure at work, and did my best to support Mr. Bryant while HE adjusted to a restructure at work.

During all this time off from "me," I thought I was doing the right things, doing the things that needed to be done, paying primary attention to the other people in my life in the best way. But as I look back at the last half of the year, I can see that I was less centered, less thoughtful, and frankly, less confident.

I am grateful to have learned this lesson, which I think I really knew but allowed myself to conveniently forget. Taking care of "me" is important, and changes how I interact with the world at every level.

I can't say that I am sorry to see 2011 go. Although it wasn't the worst year it also wasn't the best. And sometimes, that's exactly the inspiration needed to go forth and know this New Year better, man! (with a nod here to our friends, the Muppets!)

Here is to the most wonderful year yet. Welcome 2012!

Garden Gift

2011-06-12T21:35:00.000-04:00

After all these years I finally have a hydrangea in bloom!

The garden is looking amazing with all of ADR's focused work. He has pulled poison ivey (the birds just love the danged stuff) and grapevines, and planted and mulched. Flowers are blooming on both sides of the front walk and also in the side garden, and it is so wonderful! It still has a rambling, wild, dense look that I love so much - random and full of energy. But everything looks super healthy - better than it has in the last seven years - which is when I stopped gardening to travel for work. Bah!

* * * *
I have been focusing on cleaning up inside, taking care of the absolute disaster that my art / craft space had become. With work demanding time, I find that I so desperately want to make time for art that I just sit down and do it, and then never have the opportunity to clean up the resulting mess. And I am in the middle of a very cool art project right now, doing some work for a friend, so I really need the space. So, I have been spending time digging through everything on the desk and floor, organizing like items into containers, labeling, filing. It has been several weeks of this effort, and about two weeks ago I finally had a cleaner desk - enough that I could actually make space on top to work. I found lots of cool things during this process - art supplies I didn't remember I had, little pieces of ephemera that I can use to make more art, interesting colors and stamps and brushes. Buried treasure!

Even now with the desk clean, there are things that sit all over the top of the desk - containers filled with paint brushes, big glass containers willed with tubes of acrylic paints, ceramic rectangular dishes to the brim with chalks. I need all these things in easy reach when I am working (playing!) and I like the way they bring color to the desk. I also have a super cool piece of bamboo that ADR gave me, filled with markers that I use for my envelope art.

ADR found this bamboo growing wild near his in-laws house. No one wanted it, so he spent days with a machete out in the heat, cutting down long poles of bamboo. Then he researched how to treat it so that it dried appropriately and cured the way it is supposed to, to make it strong. He has used the bamboo to make a table and a really cool garden gate. The piece that he gave me is about 4 and a half inches in diameter, and as tall as a coffee cup. It is a beautiful subtle brown, and stronger than you might imagine. I think that it is such a cool container - such a cool natural gift! When I found the bamboo on my desk I was tickled and immediately made use of it for the markers.

In passing the next day or so, I mentioned to ADR how cool my bamboo was that he had given me.

About a week later everyone came up for family dinner. They were late in arriving and Mr. Bryant and I were out on the porch when they pulled up. The kids hopped out of the car and came running for hugs and hellos, and SRR had a big smile and hug for us too. ADR was carrying something and he said - I have a surprise for you mom. Now, I am not usually much for surprises - but look at what this creative man brought to me.

Bamboo Garden Sculpture

A one of a kind, hand made just for me, bamboo garden sculpture! Made of six or seven pieces of bamboo and thick gauge copper wire, it is just so very good. I am sure that it is excellent feng shui! ADR installed it in the garden on Monday last, as you see it above. He has big plans for mulch and flowers that will be planted all around to make it even more fabulous and more an integral part of the garden.

I feel very lucky and blessed to have creativity and beauty all around. No wonder why I would rather be home than anywhere else!

Thank you dearest son. I love my garden, and I love my sculpture.

Mary Oliver reads Mornings at Blackwater

2011-06-11T07:00:00.002-04:00

What do you know about Mary Oliver, the poet quoted at the top of my blog? I must admit, I love her question to us all, about our one wild and precious life, but I truly didn't know much about the woman who asked. And in all honesty, I didn't take the time to go learn. I just enjoyed the words and moved on, asking myself the question each time I came to my home page. Allowing the wildness and preciousness of life to hold me for a moment.

I spent some time last weekend browsing around the internet, following links to friends pages, following links they shared. And in the process came across the most amazing link, where Mary Oliver did a reading of her brief poem "Mornings at Blackwater." The poem - and the reading of the poem - just rolled over me, making me think of all those who can not gain leave of the past - the distant or the near. So many of us need to let go of so many things and find the way to be here now - and find the way to live our lives.

I started doing some research about Mary Oliver, and I find that this New England poet, writing of life and nature, speaks to me in many ways. Maybe it is because I grew up spending summers in New England with my grandparents. Maybe it is because I grew up in the NorthEast and somehow have some of that old Yankee sensibility. Maybe it is because Mary Oliver can paint better with words than I can even imagine painting with a brush.

For me, finding a poet is like finding a complete delicious surprise right in the very middle of "usual" and "normal" where you didn't expect to find anything but more.

And so now I know where my quote is from. And I love it even more.

The Summer Day

Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

A mid-week tale about last Sunday morning

2011-06-09T07:00:00.004-04:00

Hooray for morning coffee!

I woke up early and let the puppies out last Sunday morning. And then, because I was so ready for coffee, I got the grinder out and readied the beans and started the water.

These days, coffee is simply wonderful to me in the mornings.

I went upstairs and prepared the pet food and fed everyone, and after they all ate and the puppies were playing outside in the yard I finally got my coffee ready. It had to steep for four minutes in the french press, so I let the puppies in and they scooted to the bedroom to lay down for another little nap. Mr. Bryant wasn't up yet, so I got my coffee cup ready and took my book into the bedroom, planning to sit in bed and read a bit.

This is what I found when I got there.

Mr. Bryant, Bella, and Jack (Oh My!)

So I took my book and sat in the kitchen at the table in the sunshine, and smiled a bit while I read and sipped.

South 21 on a Saturday Night

2011-06-07T19:31:00.001-04:00

Saturday Night Special!

Saturday, Mr. Bryant and I were both tired from working all day. He had been working outside in the heat and so was dehydrated quite a bit. I had been working inside cleaning the craft room and office. Though we both made good progress, we were ENTIRELY too tired to cook. Thinking about cooking made us both even tireder.

I walked out to the garage and Mr. Bryant was just putting up his tools from welding on the second gate (Lady Banks gate) when my cell phone rang. I answered and while I was chatting away Mr. Bryant made the oddest motions. He pointed at the puppies (both panting), pointed to the curb and the old toyota wagon, made a steering motion, and then acted like he was eating. Lucky for me, married to him after all these years, I actually could interpret the story.

I wend into the kitchen, grabbed the dog leashes, and hung up the phone. Outside the garage was all locked up and the puppies were both quite excited. We leashed them for the short walk to the car and they both jumped right in to the back. (I need to get a car with a low thresh-hold like that! They can't jump into my car, and they are both too big to pick up.)

Ready to go, shut the door!

We had the radio on and the windows down and headed out the road, humming a little him. Jack loved the window, sticking his head out and enjoying the breeze. His tongue hung out the whole time, and everyone we passed waved at him. Bella was a little more cautious with her head at the other window, just sniffing daintily at the passing air. We drove through the neighborhood and then caught the highway for the minute drive to South 21 Drive In.

Comprehensive Menu

The South 21 has been around for a long long time. It is one of those old drive in restaurants where you pull up to the speaker and order and the waiters bring the food to the car. It is absolutely Southern Home Cooked junk food, and such a yummy occasional treat! The food is delivered on brown plastic trays that remind me of the kind from the school lunch cafeteria, and is server on paper plates. Black gentlemen in black slacks, red shirts, and black hats, bring out the orders, and they always looking very dapper. People even order take out at the South 21, gathering up boxes of delicious bar-b-que and fried chicken from the little cooking building to carry home.

We saw very interesting cars at the South 21 on Saturday - new convertibles, interesting modified trucks, unique restorations. We, of course, arrived in the old toyota but we have the big attraction in the back. :)

Got burgers?

We ordered and our food was delivered along with some great conversation and a few oohs and aahs about the puppies. Bella and Jack got to have a french fry or two as an appetizer while their plain hamburgers cool on the dashboard. We listened to the radio and talked with the servers as they passed by, and the puppies got to watch the people and enjoy a night out.

Supper in the pick up truck makes for fun people watching!

Once we are done eating they each were rewarded with a plain burger to call their own - and of course, Jack ate his fast and Bella ate hers dainty, but there was absolutely not even a crumb left over. It was dark by the time we got on the road for home, and we all enjoyed the cooler air and the quick ride. We had more fun that trouble, and that is a pretty good measurement in my mind. I have a feeling that we will be back.

various

2011-06-03T19:07:00.001-04:00

Opal has a new home, which is a delight and a relief all at the same time. Her new family is absolutely in love with her, as you can probably tell - and we are thrilled that she is very well loved and cared for, as she deserved.

Mr. Bryant's brother, sister-in-law, and niece came in from New Mexico to visit a little over Memorial Day weekend. They spend most of their visit up with Mr. Bryant's father, which was great fun for everyone, with outings to the mountains and out to restaurants for dinner. When they got to our house we visited and had some lovely Meyer Lemon cocktails. They were absolutely amazing, and we used the rosemary that grows right outside of Rosie's Gate.

Ingredients

1 cup water
1/3 cup sugar
1 rosemary sprig
1 cup fresh Meyer lemon juice, chilled (about 8 lemons)
1/3 cup chilled vodka
2 cups chilled prosecco or other sparkling wine, chilled

Preparation

Combine first 3 ingredients in a microwave-safe liquid measuring cup. Microwave at HIGH for 2 1/2 minutes; stir until sugar dissolves. Let stand 10 minutes; discard rosemary. Chill.
Combine sugar mixture, juice, vodka, and prosecco, stirring gently. Serve immediately.

Later we walked up the street to Krazy Fish for dinner. We ate fabulous seafood (bourbon salmon) and tempura veggies and amazing tacos. talked books and current events, relationships and family, life and environment, government and philosophy. It was really fun to catch up and remind ourselves how much we like to be around each other.

The Bryant's went home the next morning early, filled up with fresh ground coffee and surrounded with lots of hugs. I struggled back to work while Mr. Bryant took the day to rest and recover. He had gone to his father's on Saturday and cut grass for hours and hours, up and down hills in the dreadful (97 degree!) heat and humidity. He needed his day of rest, for sure.

Even though this was a short work week for both of us, we have felt the challenges of every day. We need more rest from our rest, it seems.

Tonight we are having Meyer Lemon Chicken Piccata, and if it is wonderful you will be sure to see the recipe here soon.

memorial day,2011

2011-05-30T10:40:00.001-04:00

People say "Happy Memorial Day!"

I don't exactly understand what they mean. We are certainly spending the day off work, but we are also spending the day with our memories. This morning over coffee, Mr. Bryant and I talked about all those in our family that have been touched by war, and all our relatives who lost their lives defending our country, our honor, our principles, and our way of life. Our list isn't dreadfully long, but the very idea that we have a list is sobering.

Then we talked about those in our community that have this same kind of list - our friends, our neighbors, our colleagues at work. We talked about the ways that we support and honor those who defend our freedoms and who fight to make the world a better place. We are overwhelmed by the gift, the sacrifice, the dedication, of our armed forces.

Our recollection then extends to all who have been loved and lost, and our list gets longer and our hearts get softer and more grateful for the life we have experienced, for the relationships we have been blessed to have, no matter how fleeting.

I wonder when we will find a way to move to civilized discourse and beyond - to a civilized way to always look to the greater good and resolve differences.

I don't have a lot of hope in this regard, as families can't even seem to find a way to speak with truth to each other, and carry on civil discussions when differences of opinion exist.

But I pray for all of us, and my prayers are grateful for the sacrifices of the men and women who protect our land. I pray that their sacrifices are never in vain and are truly valued by all.

In loving memory of Dennis Baughman, October 16, 1947 - June 8, 2010.

Blast!

2011-05-28T11:38:00.000-04:00

I have been gone for a bit. Sometimes life is like that, giving us more stories to share if we can find the time to write them.

On Monday, we were walking the big puppies out to the park. I heard a noise that sounded oddly familiar as we walked past the house on the corner and crossed the busy street, but Mr. Bryant and I were chatting and catching up so I didn't notice it too much - but as it continued I thought - What is that? It sounds like a bird, making a sound like a cat. Probably a mockingbird. I looked around at the big oak trees out of curiosity, but didn't see anything. The sound persisted, though - and when we got across the street I turned around and looked back. There, near the neighbors bushes, was a tiny teeny itty bitty little black kitten, crying her heart out. She was looking right at us, and crying with all her heart, little tiny cries. Mr. Bryant and I looked at each other, looked at the big puppies on our leads, and quickly came back across the road - because by this time that tiny little thing had started purposefully coming towards us, crying all the while.

As we got back across the street, the kitten hopped up on the neighbors steps and stood her ground, her front legs firmly planted, crying and crying.

"She is so tiny!" "She isn't afraid of the puppies." "She is desperate." "She must be starving."

Mr. Bryant held both puppies and I went to the neighbors door and knocked and knocked. Our lovely young neighbor came to the door and I told her, "You have a kitten out on your steps. It looks like she is starving!" "Oh my goodness, I thought I saw a kitten, but when I drove by this evening it wasn't there." "Well it is there now, and super hungry." "I have a friend that is a vet, I bet she will help me." "Great! You should feed it tonight though, and then try to catch it."

We walked towards the steps together, and the little kitten ducked under them and then looked out at us both, crying plaintively. "What do you feed a kitten this old, do you know?" "Sure, give it some tuna and milk, I think. And water, lots of water. After you feed it you can probably catch it, but be sure to hold it by the scruff of the neck, because it will be afraid and try to bite you."

It didn't even look like the kittens claws were fully developed yet, and she was still meowing while we were talking. Our neighbor went into the house to get food, and we waited until she came back out before we continued our walk. We didn't want that little one coming out onto the road and getting smashed.

As we continued our walk, we talked about how the kitten could have shown up at such an odd spot, the intersection of two busy streets, with no other kittens, no mother cat around, nothing. Mr. Bryant got a bit angry as he talked about the kind of people that would throw a kitten out of the car to fend for itself, especially one this tiny. Good GRIEF. We decided that it was probably about five weeks old. When we came back by the steps there was an empty food dish on the steps, and I was relived that the kitten was going to find a new home in the morning.

* * * *
Two days later, we were taking the puppies out again, about the same time of day - and out from the steps came the kitten! Crying and looking at us, bolder about coming onto the street and not being fearful of the big puppies at all. Mr. Bryant and I were stunned. "Why didn't she get the kitten?" "You know, I don't think she knows how to catch it. I thought she seemed really tentative about that." "It looks like she isn't home and that kitten is HUNGRY." "What do you want to do?" "I will put the dogs back in the yard and bring some food. You stay with the kitten so it doesn't come out in the road."

So I stayed, and talked to the little kitten. She looked right at me, crying softly, letting me know that she needed help please, help please. Mr. Bryant came back with milk and tuna, and as I put it into the little bowl the kitten attacked it ravenously. She was so hungry she almost attacked my hand. Mr. Bryant and I watched her eat, and discussed what to do. The neighbor wasn't home, and Mr. Bryant didn't want to have the kitten follow us out into the traffic.

"Well, she obviously hasn't taken her to the vet yet, because she probably is just afraid to catch her." "How do you know it is a 'she'?" "I don't, but she looks like a little girl to me. Look, I could pick her up right now." "Well pick her up then!" "What will we do with her?"

"I don't know honey," Mr. Bryant said, "but if you are going to save this little kitten, SAVE IT."

I reached down and picked up the kitten, who promptly bit my hand. I held her firmly against me and she settled down and got real still. We walked back to the house, and Mr. Bryant told me to wait outside the gate while he put up the puppies. I petted the little kittens head, scratching behind her ears. When Mr. Bryant motioned me to come in he had already set up Chrissie's big crate in the garage. We put water and a litter box (made from a shoe box lid) into the crate along with a big soft pet cushion (we have a few!) and a dish of kitten chow. By this time I was petting the kitten and she was still very quiet in my hand. I put her onto the pillow and she immediately went to the food dish and started chowing down.

Good Grief.

We went and got those puppies that were SO curious and SO ready for their walk, and off we went. The neighbor was home by now, so we stopped and knocked.

"We have the kitten." "Oh thank goodness! I wondered what had happened! You know, I have been calling her Opal, and I was concerned when I looked for her and she wasn't anywhere around."

We explained that we caught her because we were concerned about her following us. She said that she was so glad we had her, because she was honestly a bit afraid of cats, and the kitten had tried to attack her hand over the food. She was concerned that it might be sick. I told her that I honestly believed that she was afraid, and starving. We agreed that I would bring her the kitten in the morning, all ready for a trip to the vet.

When we got home I put the cat carrier into the crate. "There you go Opal. Maybe you can sleep there in the carrier. Nothing to fear tonight."

The next morning I went out to get the kitten. She had slept ON the cat carrier, but wasn't anxious or frantic. She had used the litter box, eaten most of the food, and was ready to be petted and held. Mr. Bryant was angry all over again. "This isn't a wild kitten, that's for sure. It would never be comfortable with people all ready. This is such a tiny little thing that it shouldn't be away from its mother."

The kitten was chasing my finger and letting me pet her, such a sweetie.

I caught her up in my hand and gave her a hug before putting her in the carrier. She looked directly at me with all the trust she could hold. "She has an amazing gaze." "Of course. She asked us for help and she trusts us to provide it." "She is precious."

Into the carrier and off to the neighbors, who said she was taking the kitten to the vet that morning. The next afternoon, a full week after we first saw the kitten, I stopped by to ask how things had gone. She invited me in and there, in the back room playing on the floor, was the kitten in question. "Oh my goodness. They wouldn't take her?"

"None of the no-kill shelters have any space. They loved her at the vets, and said she was JUST six weeks old. They gave her the first shots, de-wormed her, gave her flea treatment, tested her for everything and gave her a clean bill of health. But we haven't found her a home yet. I am giving myself until Tuesday to find a home for her. I am asking everyone."

"We will ask too."

So here is Opal. Precious, sweet, all black from head to toe. Fighting for her life. Let me know if you know anyone that wants a kitten.

Envelope Art

2011-05-13T07:00:00.003-04:00

Poppies

A few more. I am really having fun with this. I hope the people getting these in the mail are enjoying them as much as I am enjoying creating them!

I am going to try to teach a class in doing these envelopes sometime in the next month or so. I am learning lots of different techniques and am excited to share. :) I have been able to re-use materials from other projects and for the most part, have created these little works of art on handmade envelopes. Fun, right?

Birdies!

Kitties

Prophet

Rosie's Gate

2011-05-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

Rosie's Gate

Mr. Bryant and ADR spent so much time on the fence, that there was nothing for it but to create gates that were amazing works of art. They had planned for three walking gates in the fence, and then one large gate that runs across the driveway.

Back in December after the fence was done, there was a two week period with no gates. Every time little Bella needed to go outside (and that was every 20 minutes), I had to bundle up, leash her up, and out we went to walk around the cold yard. Many times it was rainy, but it always seemed to me to be freezing for those outside trips. We had piles of coats on every chair, scarves and hats and mittens on every table. I was not at my happiest with stuff everywhere, on top of more stuff, not to mention having to go out for a walk every 20 minutes.

I complained to Mr. Bryant, and he took action at his first opportunity. He, Bella, and ADR created a "Christmas Miracle" back in December, and put up temporary barriers across all the gate spaces. Mr. Bryant did make one working gate, back at the back driveway. He called this gate "Rosie's Gate," as she is always in and out this gate when she visits. The gate was very plain, though, and not to his liking because it didn't close as securely as he wanted, and the lock was makeshift. We really want these gates secured, so this has been a source of concern for months.

The security matters to us, like many things, because of our history. Years ago, before cell phones (seriously, there was such a time), we had two amazing dogs - a Newfoundland (Christmas Carol "Chrissie") and an Australian Shepard "Buck." Chrissie was the younger of the two, and pretty sweet most of the time. She was happy and loving with a Newfoundland's great heart, and the most beautiful Newf I ever seen, in a very rare color called Cream. She was most precious to me and I miss her still to this day.

Buck was another matter. He was large for an Aussie, black with a white blaze on his chest. He had been mercilessly teased by construction workers in a new development when he was a little puppy, and the teasing had made him afraid and super super protective. It took him a long time to trust people, but once he trusted you, he believed in you without question for the rest of his life. He was the most dedicated dog I have ever known. He held my heart.

I knew we were safe as long as we had Buck, because NO ONE could come into the yard or the house uninvited - not even family. He meant business, and he loved us to complete and total distraction. He was deeply loved and I miss him still, oh so very much.

Back then, back there, we had a fenced in yard for two reasons - we had an in ground pool and we had the dogs. The gates were always closed and we had Beware of Dog signs up on each gate. One day while we were at work, someone came and opened the gate. We think they were going to take a dip in the pool, but the dogs surprised them and when they took off running they left the gate open. The dogs were out - and it was hours before we got home to set things right. Buck wouldn't even let the postman up on the porch to deliver the mail. It was mayhem, and we nearly lost them both that day, as we lived on a busy neighborhood cut through street. When I think about it my heart gets tight again, even now.

So now that we have puppies again after all these years, we need the gates to have locks, to close even when they aren't pushed. We need good strong gates that no one uninvited can open. And we need gates that are works of art. That show our love of mixed natural materials. That tell our story, that allow Mr. Bryant time to play with welding, and that give the puppies a way to see out. The gates, they are taking some time to make. In fact, only one is almost done - and the rest are still in design and materials collection stages.

Above, you see Rosie's Gate. Still not done, but much closer. Up on hinges in its space, with a solid lock to keep the puppies safe. I do love it, with the wood and the metal, the textures, the excellent workmanship. Mr. Bryant said it was so heavy he could hardly lift it, but is swings gently on the hinges, like it weighs nothing.

More to come as the finished product is ready. :)

Mrs. McFadden

2011-05-09T07:00:00.001-04:00

I was the oldest child in the family, and I so wanted a little brother. When my sister Karla came along I was NOT happy. First, she was a girl. Geez. Then, I had to share a room with her. GEEZ. She wanted to follow me around even though there were years between us, and she wanted to do what I did and wear my clothes and man alive, what a pain. :(

When I finally got old enough to get some perspective - and we are talking YEARS here - I realized what an incredible gift my sister was in my life. She is always there for me, always loves me, always makes me smile. We fight - and we fight pretty seriously - but we are both 100% committed to ALWAYS making up, to making it right, to staying in relationship. We have grown into Very Different people. Karla is creative in very different ways than I am, has different perspectives on just about everything, is always on time, has everything planned, is all about solving things. She is beautiful - not only on the outside, but on the inside. She has always been loyal and loving and she is a GIFT in my life.

Happy birthday, most beautiful, blue eyed, gentle hearted, wonderful, loving, dearest sister. You bring great joy, and I thank you with all my heart.

Momma

2011-05-08T13:00:00.001-04:00

Mrs. J. Hanson and Mr. J. Hanson, February 2010 Crusin'

We are truly blessed to have our mother with us, every day and especially on Mother's Day. We love you Momma.

Amazing

2011-05-06T08:12:00.000-04:00

Yes, these are priceless and I am so very lucky to have them. Yes, she is priceless and I am so very lucky to know her!

Wordless on Wednesday from the Front Garden

2011-05-04T07:00:00.001-04:00

Jack and Bella

2011-05-02T06:00:00.020-04:00

The puppies are 7 months and 6 months old now and still quite a handful. They walk beautifully as a general rule, but it is really time for us to start advanced training. We are planning our timeline.

Charlie and George come to play sometimes, and Bella and Jack absolutely love it. The boys run around yelling and having the dogs chase them, and the puppies chase them sweetly. George can tell Bella to sit and she sits right down. There is lots of screeching in the yard while they are playing, and excitement as the boys run. Little brother Henry runs around with a big grin throwing balls and the puppies chase them as well. Excellent exercise and just what we need to help our big little puppies get quite tired out.

This weekend we walked up to Thomas Street Tavern with them to have lunch. We all like the walk and the visiting at the Tavern exposes the pups to lots of different things - noises and people, mostly. It is about a six or seven block walk and we were all hot by the time we got there. We sat on the back patio in the shade and had drinks and lunch. I had a Turkey Reuben and a Tanqueray and Tonic. Mr. Bryant had the Tuna Melt and a Bloody Mary. The puppies munched on french fries and chewed ice cubes from their collapsible water dish. Bella was fascinated with the group playing corn hole - she wanted to chase the bags. Jack Junior loved everybody, and if french fries were involved he was very attentive. Before walking home we went to Common Market and got a Coke, a Pellegrino for the walk home - and Bella and Jack got two puppy treats from the treat jar on the bar. When we got home they took naps in the shade. Then, just for fun, we tried for a portrait.

They still have a hard time sitting still for a picture - mostly Jack - but we got one after a lots of very funny off-shots and many many many treats. :)

Gardening, Front and Back

2011-04-30T08:43:00.000-04:00

At the back of the yard, Mr. Bryant plants the plants that are leftovers. The ones that are at the edge of the nursery, the ones that are left to sit by the side, that no one wants to buy, the ones that the nursery eventually marks down to almost nothing.

When Mr. Bryant brings these plants home, they look bad, every time. Like no one ever watered them. Like really, they are probably dead. Like doing anything with them was a complete waste of effort. Like if you paid for them at all, you paid too much.

Mr. Bryant plants these sad looking plants in rocky soil, at the back edge of the yard. He fondly calls the area his rock garden. He waters the plants with dedication, but he doesn't do anything special otherwise. Well, maybe a little compost occasionally - but many times not even that. Amazingly, every dying plant Mr. Bryant has put into the rocky clay soil at the back of the yard has prospered. While my front garden delphiniums have died and I have purchased more and they have died, and once again more.....Mr. Bryant's spindly plants have grown and showered us with blooms.

After much plant distress out front I let the garden just go for two years. I pulled the big weeds, but didn't care much about most of it. It grew wild and the birds loved the brush. The poison ivy started to take over though, so something had to be done. Now I have a gardener in the person of my son, who tends the front garden and fills it with glorious perennials. Some of the hidden roses that never bloomed are blooming beautifully, and although the yellow rose is gone, the white one is prospering. The garden is recovering and is filled with such beautiful plants that I am nearly to tears. My son is a blessing to me, as are the flowers.

And out back, Mr. Bryant's rock garden blooms exotic.

These men in the family, I swear they must have green thumbs.

Hot Dogs

2011-04-25T14:33:00.000-04:00

Two Hot Dogs :)

It is still spring here, and we have had a slew of beautiful days when the windows have been open and we have had a fabulous cross breeze through the house. I treasure those days because it always seems like we have very few of them. When we first moved to the south we lived in a 200 year old farmhouse. The ceilings were 10 feet high in every room, and there were plenty of windows. No air conditioning though. We just had to get used to the heat and the humidity. We purchased fans and put them in the windows, running them most of the day. The evenings were always a delight as coolness came across the lake to blow soft breezes through the house. When I would lay in bed I was reminded of growing up, and the sounds of the birds and insects at dusk when I would lay down by the window. Somehow, our sheepdog managed to survive many of those hot hot summers. The country seemed cooler then.

Jack Junior

Bella

We are already beyond that now, though. The weeks went by so quickly - and the air conditioning is already a critical need. The puppies have gone from delighted with the yard and never wanting to come in to really never wanting to be out - especially not in the middle of the day. We are already past the long walks in the sunshine - they would rather wait until the end of the day or better yet, walk first thing in the morning. They see a little bit sad about it - and it is early yet. Mr. Bryant says he will buy them a swimming pool to soak in.

Max consoling Jack as he rests on the cool kitchen tiles

Minestrone

2011-04-21T06:00:00.005-04:00

I believe I mentioned that my G-Mom was a wonderful cook. We loved most everything that she made, and one of the favorites that I make to this day is her Minestrone Soup (the grand kids love her potato soup, so I will have to share that another post!). There are a million variations of this recipe on the internet, but the concept is the same as the soup G-Mom made for us at home for years and years.

We had a rainy day here on Saturday, and soup was just the fix. Mr. Bryant didn't want chicken noodle, and so we made up some rich Minestrone. We added a little olive oil to a pot and added some onions and garlic to saute. We cut up carrots and celery and added them along with basil and stirred. A little salt and pepper went into the pot, and then we added a can of chopped tomatoes and some wonderful white beans (Cannellini). Shortly I added some vegetable broth that I had in the refrigerator along with some chunks of chicken.

I let the soup simmer for about an hour, and then added some water and rice. I chopped up about half (maybe 3/4) of a small green cabbage and added it, along with a bay leaf and some spaghetti that I had broken. Another 30 minutes of simmering on the stove and the soup was ready. Mr. Bryant added a little bit of grated cheese to his bowl, as you can see below.

Absolutely Yum. And, in case you were wondering, it is an honest fact that this soup is even better the second day.

I do miss my G-Mom, and know that I am fortunate to have her recipes written in her hand to follow and enjoy. Love you grammie.

Treats All Around!

2011-04-18T01:07:00.001-04:00

When Mr. Bryant calls from the kitchen, it's cookie time. It might be for a home-made biscuit, it might be for a prepackaged treat, it might be for a graham cracker, or it might be mini-marshmallows. One can never be sure just what goodie Mr. Bryant may produce - and so you see in our house, no one takes any chances. :)

Arte Postal

2011-04-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

Another example of recent mail art - morning glories. Inspired by a fabulous Arts and Crafts style card / print. I am having lots of fun with all this doodling! And to think that I wouldn't have tried this had they not asked me to teach a class!

I sent a letter yesterday to The Radio Post. I am looking forward to getting my issue.

So! Shall I send you one? :)

WMA 4

Back of envelope (WMA4)

Speaking of Mail

2011-04-07T07:00:00.002-04:00

The other day I got a surprise in the mail. The package was very well padded, with a Royal Mail sticker on the outside. I was too excited to stop and take a picture to share and I just ripped it open right at the dining room table. Under miles of bubble wrap were the most delightful gifts!

One of the blogs I read often is Niminy Fingers. This blog, kept up by a very talented craft artist, is fascinating for many reasons - not the least being the amazing handiwork that Chrissie shares. Additionally, she writes from the United Kingdom and shares not only her unique point of view but a fascinating insight into history, custom, and the modern world all living side by side. I always enjoy her stories and pictures, and some day I vow I will go visit her (fair warning, Chrissie!).

Many months ago Chrissie had a giveaway contest on her blog, and much to my surprise I won! I am sure that 2011 will be a great year as a result, I just know it. Well, Chrissie sent me my fantastic gift, and it - can you believe it - it got lost in the mail. Honestly. I contacted the post office and couldn't get any answers, so I went in for a visit. They told me that our regular mail man had moved away, and they were still trying to get a regular carrier for our route. In the mean time, the mail on our street was being delivered by whoever had extra time - and so things would be a bit difficult. [Still? Really? Good Grief!!!]

The package never came and I was disappointed. But still certain that good luck came with the winning. :) And then, the other day, a package came! Chrissie included a note - this was the second package she sent - and it was absolutely the charm. She included a lovely stuffed and embroidered heart, a cinnamon sachet, and a cute as can be tag calendar that is just the thing for my office. THANKS A MILLION CHRIS!!!

Do go and check out her blog - and her ETSY shop "makeyourpresentsfelt." She makes wonderful things - check out these egg cosies - just in time for easter!

Our Best Friends

2011-04-05T06:00:00.002-04:00

In December of 1980, Grandmother and Grandfather Hanson gave Aaron some Christmas money for books. He and I went to the book store together and any book that caught his eye came home with us. One of our very most favorite books was called "Our Best Friends" by Gyo Fujikawa. This delightful little board book has simple art work and tells the story of a little girl Mary, her doll (Doll), her cat Smudge, and her little mouse (Mouse), as they look for new friends. I remember us reading this book again and again to Aaron, and both of us never getting tired of the story. We took the book on picnics and to Grandmother's house; we read it in the car and at the park. My little blond boy sat in my lap and pointed at all the characters in the book as I said their names. I remember the sun shining down on us while we read outside, and listening to the wind chimes on the porch when we read again. I don't have any pictures of those days. But I do know that in the end, Mary, Doll, Smudge, and Mouse become fast friends with Harry, Larry, Spots, Mops, and Peeps. :)

I read the book to Amanda when she was little, and then again to both grandchildren. The book and the pictures and all the little creatures make me smile to this day. As my house fills up with sweet little souls, I watch them becoming the "dearest and the best of friends." The reality makes me smile and the memories of all those wonderful moments with my son, daughter, and grands wash over me. I am glad we have the memories that books bring, and thank Mr. Fujikawa for his gift to my children, and to me.

Mail Art

2011-04-02T20:47:00.004-04:00

I am learning a lot from the Sketchbook Challenge. There are many talented artists that are sharing their work, and they are motivating me to try more drawing myself. Some of the folks are incredibly prolific, and they are inspiring me to find more time in my busy life for art. One of the young mothers not only works in her journal (she has multiple journals) but also does Art Postale and posts some of her designs on her blog. These envelopes look like presents all by themselves, and so, at the Art Journal workshop, I said "I would like to try Mail Art. Do you know anyone that teaches it?" They said, "No, why don't you prepare a class?"

I came home and talked to Mr. Bryant about it. And the next thing you know, a surprise from him arrived in the mail (love that mail man!). Now that I had a book I went off and found appropriate materials, and after reading and pondering I gave it a try. I feel pretty good about my first few attempts, although strangely ambivalent about sending them. But no matter what, I mail my first works off tomorrow. Jumping in the pool.

The book recommends that you do art with what you have. The Art Lab book I am reading talks about doodling, and so I doodled with the pens and highlighters I had in my purse to start these pieces of Mail Art right on the envelopes. After reading some from Good Mail Day, I bought some Satedtler Mars erasers and carved a few Wild Hare stamps to add to the mix. These were fun and I really like they way they are looking.

I can't very well talk about mailing art in class if I don't make it happen. I have the class supplies for folks to do mail art on envelopes, and got some cool lined envelopes in a few different sizes. Tonight I am going to try making an envelope from scratch and adding a circular vellum window. I think that by the time class rolls around I will have some good ideas to share.

Front (above) and back (below) of WMA1.

WMA2

WMA3

More art, more letters - not such a bad idea, right?

Thinking About G-Mom

2011-03-20T09:53:00.012-04:00

Mrs. Hanson, Kimberly Anne, and G-Mom

I have been thinking about my G-Mom. When Aaron was growing up, "great grandmother" was too daunting to learn, so my grandmother, my Grammie, became G-Mom. I am missing her, pretty darn much. As I want through my pictures I found a random sampling to share. Over the next few days I will share some more, as the stories come back to me.

G-mom, me, and Mr. Hanson - in Atlantic City!

Virginia Pearl Smith Costabile was born on March 18, 1916, and grew up during very difficult times in Eastern PA. She was a Catholic and loved the church, although after many years of being with us she became a Lutheran. She had an eighth grade education, and worked hard all her life, taking care of her own family and her husbands parents until they passed away. She cooked and cleaned and always provided incredible meals. She learned to be frugal, kept her home organized and neat, and took great pride in what she was able to provide for her family. And she LOVED to cook. Plus, she was incredibly good at it, mostly. There was always the occasional disaster in the kitchen, but she really was a good, good cook.

Ruth Hanson (Grandma), me, and G-Mom

At one point in time she worked as a cook in an Italian restaurant - "Rizzo's Italian Family Restaurant." Rizzo's is still going strong, although the location has changed and they are now called "Rizzo's Malabar Inn" - and of course, it can't be as good as it was when G-Mom was cooking there. Her tomato sauces were always amazing, and she loved using fresh herbs and finding new ways to make old favorites. I still make her potato soup with "rivels" (homemade noodles) which my grandchildren love, and her gnocchi, which we all love.

Ah, what a crew!
Me, J.D, June, Brenda, Karla, Jay, Gregg, G-Mom, Uncle Mike!
I guess Aunt Nancy is snapping the picture!

She was always a major part of every holiday celebration, making turkey on thanksgiving and roasts on New Years. Of course, we all love our family holidays, so we took full advantage of the great cooking to add to the celebrations!

G-Mom at Christmas

Like many of the folks of her generation, G-Mom was a chain smoker. When her brother in law got lung cancer the doctor told her she had to quit smoking immediately. She did it that very day. She continued to love her gin and tonics for many more years, but didn't have quite as many quite as often.

In the mountains - Mr. Bryant, Uncle Mike, me, Aunt Nancy, Ama, G-Mom

G-Mom lived with Uncle Mike and Aunt Nancy in Florida for a long time after she retired, until the inevitable closeness put a strain on family relationships. Then she came and lived with mom and dad and was with us for the rest of her life. She still worked hard, doing the laundry, cleaning, cooking, taking us shopping to buy something special - generally being a wonderful love in our lives. I think she felt her own worth was all about taking care of us, and she put her heart into it.

Karla Anne and G-Mom

She also loved to play hard! When she was younger she enjoyed bowling, and always loved playing cards - canasta was a favorite. She liked to sit out in the summer and have a drink with friends and family, and loved baseball. She took me to my first baseball game in Pittsburg - and I still love the Pirates! She was a big Steelers fan, and so guess what, I am too. She was always willing to try something new and fun, and being with us all really made her joyful.

G-Mom and Uncle Mike

She had a generous heart and had a generous laugh. She didn't have much money but was always amazingly generous, giving gifts to every single one of us. She loved to share with us. Now, she did get mad and sometimes had a short temper. She would make sharp comments and her tone of voice made it clear that she was not amused. But all in all her love came through in every single moment. She adored her grandchildren (that's me, Karla, and Jay - and Michael, Gregg, and Brenda), her great-grandchildren (ADR, ARR, Kyle, Angela, Trevor, Nick, Mike), and her great great grandson Asa. I am sad that she never got to meet Jaya, but I know she would have adored her.

Here she is with that young Mr. Michael Baughman one Christmas morning. Ah, dearest G-Mom, we miss you much and think of you often.

Our G-Mom

Wordless Wednesday - Fom the Frog Pond Walk

2011-03-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

Everybody Loves Marshmellows

2011-03-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

I can't eat them during Lent. But nobody said they didn't make great treats......

The puppies can catch them, but Max just reaches up Mr. Bryant's leg and takes them right out of his hand. :)

Two Leonbergers and Just One Ball

2011-03-10T08:00:00.001-05:00

We have two of everything in the house now. But it doesn't matter.
We have two identical dog toys of every type.
No matter what we do, whatever one puppy has, that is what the other puppy wants. It reminds me so much of having little children I can't even tell you.

But funnier. Much much funnier.

In any case, we gave up on the two toys idea. And purchased a single, little crocheted ball.

As you might imagine, this is now the very most favorite toy in the house.

Lenten Musings

2011-03-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Goodbye, Beef. And right now, good riddance.

We ate like nobody's business for four days. Chocolate, cupcakes, beef, fries, onion rings, chicken, ugh. We are so full we can't see straight. We went out to eat and even went out to drink. We had wine and mixed drinks and beer. We had doughnuts and cookies. We ate candy and had night-caps. We even had champagne for breakfast on the weekend. Basically, we have been running a muck.

We are so ready for Lent we can't wait for the morning. Ready for fasting, ready for simplicity, ready for taking time to think, finding time to reflect, breathing slowly, remembering. The seasons of the church year are a gift to us, and we love the tradition and ritual. They resonate deeply in our very souls, and right now, even giving up Wine and Chocolate sound Just Fine.

Those Dirty Rotten Spools.

2011-03-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

Preparing to make the most incredible artistic gates on the planet, Mr. Bryant has been acquiring new tools. Specifically, as of early last week, he has a new spool gun (it came with his new MIG welder, but more about that another day). He looks very Buck Roger-ish aiming that Spool Gun, wouldn't you agree?

As for me, I feel really safe. We will not be attacked by any Dirty Rotten Spools.

:)

Puppy Update

2011-03-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

Bella is five months old

These two can be just too much sometimes. I thought I would get some pictures in the living room the other day. You can see what I mean about them both coming to get in my face when I have the camera. Mr. Bryant took the camera from me and grabbed these shots.

Jack can't figure out why the leather of the ottoman is so slippery, and keeps falling off each time he tries to get on my lap.

They are both such sweet puppies - but they can take over the chair AND the ottoman with no difficulty!

A full lap!

Wordless Wednesday Puppy Portrait - 3/2/2011

2011-03-02T08:00:00.002-05:00

Carabella Mia, 5 months
BlackJack Fitzgerald Jr, 4 months

Coolest Cat Ever. Happy Birthday Max.

2011-02-28T08:00:00.001-05:00

Our Max (Old West Coons Thunderpaws Maximum Blue) is one year old. But he is still just as much a kitten as he ever was. Our dear friend Pam sent over some Valentine Goodies for the Puppies and Kittens. Max immediately decided they were for his birthday, and got in them lickety split. He has sharp teeth, and in a skinny minute had bites through the tastiest bags to get the treats for his own.

He plays with these big puppies with absolutely no fear and complete trust.

He is the bravest cat I have ever seen, and has a heart of pure gold.

Yep. That's our Max.

Gizzy's Bath

2011-02-27T15:40:00.008-05:00

Gizzy hates the bath more than most. He is so sad when he is getting soaped up, and looks more like a drowned rat than anything else throughout the whole process. As I looked at the pictures of this poor sad little puppy, I decided to share the rest of the story with you all.

After his bath, Mr. Bryant dried Gizzy with three fluffy clean towels. And then we captured this:

NEW PUPPY PICTURES

2011-02-22T17:11:00.004-05:00

Quick update for the curious. :)

These pups are actually hard to take pictures of. When I get the camera out, they both come running to play - so they are all up in my face and I can't get good shots. Mr. Bryant and I will work together on some this weekend. In the mean time, here are a few.....since all the fur bellies in my house got baths on Saturday.

Opposites

2011-02-21T22:52:00.003-05:00

Rosie went to Munich. She taught me - the german’s say: Anfangen ist leicht, beharren eine Kunst.

Or: To begin is easy. To persist is art.

So despite the long work hours in February, the challenging weekends and puppies, the cleaning and routining of home life, I persist.

My February Sketchbook Pages in the Opposite Theme --- >

Two different watercolor techniques, opposite in execution. Interesting results, no?

Pale acrylic neutrals with a touch of acrylic bright....soft/bright opposites.

Little busy sweet mischievous colorful Gracie Girl and big, laid back, soft, great hearted silver blue and white Max. Opposites of another sort. And attempt at real sketching - something that I am not confident with at all. Interesting. Persisting.

A Chair Full of Kittens

2011-02-06T14:29:00.005-05:00

Max and Gracie are doing just fine with the puppies. We were worried that they would be stressed out and angry, or that the puppies would chase them. Instead, they both want treats every time the puppies get treats, and they still consider themselves first King and Queen of the house.

Max will be one year old this month, and he is still growing. A very cool cat, he is always with the people in the house, checking out everything that is going on. He talks quite a bit, loves to play with the kids, the puppies, and of course has regular evening rumble-through-the-house sessions with Gracie. In the picture above, Gracie was in the chair perfectly happy to spread out and take up the full seat. I had to find another chair to read in. At some point she must have taken a chill because she curled up - and in that very instant Max jumped up and joined her. Nobody is chilly now!

Sketching and Puppies

2011-01-31T22:41:00.008-05:00

No, I have no time. No time to do anything but work, clean the kitchen floor again, take puppies in and out, and work some more. But I refuse to fall into the winter blues. The pups make that hard anyway, as they always make me chuckle for some reason (can you imagine)?

I want to be Just Like You!

I just really want Out Of Here.
I PROMISE I won't go to the bathroom on the floor!
I PROMISE!

Just to be sure I keep a broader focus, I am reading some classics - and they really make me smile. I am also participating in the Sketchbook Challenge. I decided to do this when I can for as long as makes sense, with no pressure. A nice, easy, New Years Resolution that gives me an excuse to do something creative for a few minutes a day - or a week.

So in January, I made four pages. January's theme for the Challenge was "Highly Valued." I don't know how to draw, so I had no idea how to capture what I highly value in a sketchbook. So here is what I came up with.

First, I started with a list. I learned quite a bit on this page - not the least of it was that watercolor will STILL warp a page and also that I needed something to paint in matte vs. gloss for a finish.

Next, I did this page - actually page three in the book - to try to demonstrate the value of logic, thinking, words, reading, writing, thought.

Some of my most favorite words are on this page.

Along with this great stamp - the ability to write - the cornerstone of democracy!

Third, this second page of the book started on the back of the warped first page with a startling red acrylic, that then I needed to find some way to make sense of. At the fire-y heart of it, is love, you see.

You can see the warping in the page - but I muddled through anyway.

And found two little works of tiny art would make the center - well - more centered.

But life is less full without inspiration...

And Family is the root of it all, for me.

Finally, I finished this page today, just in time. I had a time getting this one done, as I had to make a decision. What do I value more? Honesty, or Kindness? How about you?

Page 4 in progress.

Page 4 finished.

What has been happening around here.....a story in pictures.

2011-01-18T11:43:00.007-05:00

December is such a wonderful month for us, and I have so much to share - but it has been a month since I have had time to get anything out here to let you all know that I am still present! Good Grief! Why, you ask, have you been so busy??? Well, in addition to Advent and Christmas, New Years and Performances, Grandchildren and Cookies, Presents and Christmas Cards, Dinners and Family, Cats and wonderful Cats - we have also had a bit of Snow... and then we have had the addition of ....

CaraBella Mia, our Bella

Home at last

Exhausted

Happy to be here

LOVING the snow!

Conquering the Ottoman Empire

Waiting for Jack

Meeting the BIG Leos! Summit is bigger than me!

But she can't catch me!

BlackJack Fitzgerald is in the HOUSE!

Thanks for the Best Toy Ever!

I can share if I must

Exhausted too

Bella and BlackJack

And what, you may ask, do the cats think of all this?

Not much

And not at all. :)

Seriously Comforting

2010-12-07T07:00:00.001-05:00

Comfort food is so good for the soul. It brings back favorite food memories from my childhood, reminds me of dinners with my family growing up, makes me feel warm, cozy, and happy. One thing that is always near the top is Tuna Noodle Casserole. It is quick, easy, and incredibly comforting, reminding me of home, family dinners, being together. I made some yesterday after our busy weekend, and we got our smiles on. You should try it - and fill up on Comfort and Joy!

Tuna Noodle Casserole

8 oz. noodles, cooked
2 small can of tuna, drained and flaked with a fork
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup milk
1 cup frozen peas, cooked
1/2 cup (or more) grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup fresh bread crumbs cooked in 1 T. butter until slightly crisp
fresh grated parmesan cheese

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. In a large bowl, stir together first six ingredients until well combined.
3. Spread into a small greased casserole dish then sprinkle bread crumbs and parmesan cheese evenly over the top.
4. Bake uncovered in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 minutes and serve warm.

yield: four to six servings

Recipe notes: **If you don’t want to use fresh bread crumbs, use the seasoned dried kind from the store and cut the amount in half. Toss the seasoned dried breadcrumbs in one tablespoon of melted butter before sprinkling over the top of casserole.

2010-12-06T01:38:00.002-05:00

Christmas is such a memory filled time for me! I remember singing carols in the car with my parents and grandparents - and for some reason we were always going somewhere through the cold dark winter evenings. To visit friends, to have cookies and hot chocolate, to share presents, to watch the "living nativity" scene at the church, to see the houses all decorated with lights. Do you know the Jolly Old St. Nicholas tune?

Jolly Old St. Nicholas lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul what I'm going to say:
Christmas Eve is coming soon; Now, you dear old man
Whisper what you'll bring to me; Tell me if you can.

When the clock is striking twelve, When I'm fast asleep
Down the chimney, broad and black, With your pack you'll creep
All the stockings you will find Hanging in a row
Mine will be the shortest one, You'll be sure to know

Bobby wants a pair of skates, Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book, Yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you What to give the rest
Choose for me, dear Santa Claus; You will know the best.

Oh, my grandmother always emphasized those last two lines - and oh, how that made me want to be just like the singer of the tune. Trusting in Santa, never asking for what I really wanted. I thought that the only way to be truly good and sweet was to never ask for anything. Of course, I was only little and bound to disappoint, and my Christmas Lists were always long letters filled with dreamy big toys that I mostly didn't get - but I learned that it was ok to dream big, and that giving is honestly as wonderful as getting - many times even more wonderful.

So here as we start the second week of Advent I find that I appreciate more and more the gift of family time and the great tradition of giving that we are fortunate to share. Today, at our house, we celebrate St. Nicholas Day (December 6th) with little gifts. We plan to talk about how St. Nicholas lived a tradition of giving, and that he gave in secret. When the kids were little we chose names and then did secret things for each other all through the month, to teach our littlest ones the joy of simple gifts and simple giving.

Joy in giving and graciousness in receiving are two of the wonderful things we experience all through our lives, but these seem to have more focus during the holidays. I rejoice in these gifts whenever they occur, but like many of us, I absolutely love the opportunity to renew family traditions and spend time with loved ones.

I wish you all joy in your family and personal traditions, and pray for peace and joy in all the world this holiday season.

My Beautiful Beloved

2010-12-04T09:39:00.009-05:00

We know which puppy is to be ours from the first litter!

CaraBella Mia, 7 weeks

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Mandolin Trails CaraBella Mia! Isn't she just the cutest thing you ever saw? :)

We had a time coming up with the name. Leonberger tradition required us to choose a name beginning with a "C" for her registered name (as is required for all the puppies in this particular litter). We ran through a bunch - Mandolin Trails Carolina Cadence (we would have called her Cady), Mandolin Trails Cream in my Coffee (we just loved this one, but couldn't get anywhere with it), Mandolin Trails Caramel Latte (we would have called her Cara), and several others. But it was pretty easy to settle on CaraBella Mia when we learned which girl would be ours.

Our breeder has told us that this little pup looks very much like her mother looked when she was tiny. They even nicknamed her "Mini Me" when they were playing with the pups. The mother is named Absolutely Arabella, and so we will call our little girl Bella, in honor of her momma (see here).

We go to Virginia to get Bella on December 11th and are pretty excited to bring her home. We understand that she is a very busy puppy, into everything, learning things first and fast, at the front of the line, bossing the other puppies around, talking nonstop. Very much the Queen Bee, and exactly as she should be!

We still have lots to do, so today means a trip to the pet store. This week we will measure some things and buy some gates. We might be rearranging some furniture. Fun, right?! Based on how Max and Gracie engage with Zuko when he comes to visit, I expect that they will be best friends in no time at all, but this is certainly going to be interesting and keep Mr. Bryant and I busy busy. We are planning out the first week with schedules and such, since I have to work out of the home - and even travel, dang it. But the following two weeks I am 100% home, as is Mr. Bryant. In the new year we should have a reasonably flexible schedule, which will be perfect. And in mid to late January, we will be bringing home our second puppy to be Bella's BFF!

Our little boy puppy is growing beautifully as well, you can see pictures here.

Sometimes it all just takes my breath away. Bella's picture was the first puppy picture that caught my eye on the Mandolin Trails web site, when she was only 8 days old.

I asked our breeder about her, but I never thought that she would come home with us. I didn't want a "pick of the litter." We don't plan to do conformation, we have no interest in breeding puppies - and perfect dogs (and cats!) need to breed so their characteristics are gifted back into the blood lines. We do plan to do obedience and would love to go to Companion Dog; maybe Rally - but a smart dog will really enjoy these activities, and doesn't need to be a "pick of the litter" from a breed standard perspective. So we just wanted a fabulous wonderful delightful smart loving pet. A pet that would be loving to the family, get along with other pet, love the kids, play lots. A pet that would be part of the family, really. Perfect for us. Bella looked so perfect to me in the pictures that I was sure she was going to someone that would show her, maybe even take her to Westminster.

But each time I looked at the next week of pictures, my eyes stopped at Bella. She made me smile. The breeder talked about her energy, how she was going to be a singer, how she talked so much, how she was a cuddler. I showed pictures of her around, but also looked at all the puppies, knowing that any one of them would be perfect for us. And yet, Bella is the puppy that our breeder chose for us! And she sounds like the very perfect one. Synchronicity. A larger plan at work. A glimpse into the divine movement behind all things. A blessing.

Makes me stop and be thankful for just how amazingly lucky we are, in the midst of everything.

Should be a pretty darned interesting holiday!

WHOO HOO!!!!

2010-11-30T00:10:00.003-05:00

November over, another 50,000 words written. Novel number 2 still needs about 1,000 words to finish it off, and I will get there before the end of the day tomorrow. Then I will take a break and ponder on the two novels I have to edit now, both good stories at the core. I will edit the second one first, though. But not until January.

What now, you ask? Think of me, having a glass of wine. Catching up with friends. Doing the laundry. Cooking supper. Advent. Decorating for the holidays. Wrapping presents. Making cookies. Trimming the tree. Getting the puppy.

Sounds pretty good, huh. :)

Creeping Up On NaNoWriMo

2010-11-27T12:42:00.005-05:00

Last year I kept the pace with the other November Writers and finished my NaNo novel early. Actually, I hit 50,000 words early, but wasn't done with the novel. So I continued writing until I was at almost 60,000 words and called it good. The novel still needs tons of editing and I never had time to get back to it. After all, December was Advent then Christmas, January was Birthday's then Super Bowl, February we lost Luka and went on the Cruise and had an anniversary, March we tried to get into a regular rhythm of life, but instead we went to Pennsylvania to see Dennis. In April we went to Raleigh to pick out kittens. In May we went to Raleigh to bring kittens home. In June we went to Pennsylvania for Dennis again and also went to the beach. In July we tried to recover and Gracie had her surgery, then in August we went to Charleston. In September we got used to school, and October was not only Halloween but we lost David. November was NaNoWriMo again. So, no editing of last years story.

And here we are, writing this years story. A better story, a better plot line. I have learned a lot this year because I have studied and also received a good bit of constructive feedback on writings that I have done, including this blog (which certainly has been more of a stream of consciousness life document rather than an intentional story). But with all the planning and expectation setting, life had been hard and so has writing.

Busy Busy, is all I can tell you. Thank heavens for our families who love us. And in my case, for Mr. Bryant who supports me and encourages me to write even when I am behind. He told me that if I decided not to write this year, that would be ok. It wouldn't be quitting, even if I quit. I appreciate the support and reassurance more than I can say. I; however, would consider it quitting - and I may be a lot of things, but I am not a quitter. I am writing this blasted novel. I am spending this weekend working away, learning that when my mind is engaged the words pour out. I will win NaNoWriMo, dear friends. Yes, I will. And then we will tackle editing, in January. After the holidays. After the first new puppy. And after a little time to take a break and just be.

Thanksgiving and a Holiday Giveaway

2010-11-23T09:50:00.006-05:00

So I was reading out on Cathy Zielski's blog, because I am making her Gratitude album. It is a little tiny book that will capture the things we are thankful for - and I think that remembering what we are thankful for this year will be helpful for our family. 2009 and 2010 have been quite the challenging years - but there have been wonderful moments as well, moments that we need to remember and that we are truly thankful for. Over the course of the last several days I have created the book and pages that we will use to document our thanks. We plan to set out these pages when we get together on Thanksgiving day and express our thanks for many things great and small. Fun, right?Anyway, today when I went to Cathy's Blog I found information about a giveaway she is doing in association with Game Stop. And not only did I decide to enter - I thought you might be interested as well. You can go here to see more information about how to enter directly from "Today's Mama," and I recommend it. The grand prize over there is an XBOX 360/Kinect combo pack, the Special Edition DSi combo pack, the Special Edition Wii combo pack and a $1000 gift card to Gamestop. Check out these "Grand Prizes:"

One XBox 360 250 GB with Kinect

One Nintendo Red Wii Bundle

Three Nintendo Red DSi XL Bundles

Plus, a ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR GameStop gift certificate so you can fill those stockings with games and accessories.

This is a Nice Giveaway for the Holidays!

It is also a bit of fun to enter, because you get to share your holiday wish list with them, and link it back to your own blog. You simply copy their list and answer, which is what I'm going to do now, because my kids and grandkids have some of these very items on their Christmas Lists!

1. What is your holiday wish for your family? I wish that every single member of my family find health and happiness and success in their every endeavor. I wish that my family have contentment and delight in every day, and that they hold kindness in their hearts. I wish that my family have peace and enjoyment all the holiday season, and that they feel refreshed as we begin 2011 together.

2. What is your Christmas morning tradition? Christmas morning is a quiet time at our house, as the kids are all grown. Mr. Bryant and I get up and have coffee and enjoy music and the time together, putting the finishing touches on any food or gift work before the whole family arrives. When everyone arrives we do stockings first, and then Asa and Jaya deliver the gifts around and we have an opening free for all!

3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be? Well, I thought about this one. Winning the lottery would be great, but in lieu of that, a Canon EOS-1Ds Mark III and associated photography lessons for a year.

4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money? Spending time together playing games. :) We are talking about Christmas Jeopardy already. We do have such a blast playing games.

5. What games did you play with your family growing up? Scrabble, Big Boggle (the one with 16 cubes, none of this 9 cube business!), Monopoly, Charades.

6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood? Stockings First. :)

7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip? We went on a cruise a few years ago, but missed those who didn't come with. I don't think we would go again. Our family traditions are grounding and help us prepare for the new year.

8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year?

Xbox 360/Kinect looks pretty darn cool, and like I said - I know a few people in the family that have this on their list already! Zumba Fitness for Wii would be perfect for another family member that is ready for a fun fitness workout. And then, Disney Epic Mickey! I mean, doesn't that sound like fun already!?!?!?

Good luck everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all take a moment to remember what you are thankful for.

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” The Dalai Lama

SteamPunk

2010-11-16T09:00:00.003-05:00

All it takes is goggles to create a completely newly imagined story. Let's write one from here. I will share mine with you later this week.

Mountains of stuff.

2010-11-15T22:40:00.005-05:00

What's up?

Writing is slow. I love the story but don't know how to tell it. I keep getting off into tangential story lines - that I love too - but they aren't the point. I get frustrated, I get stuck, I stop writing. Conventional wisdom would have me cause the house to burn down now or some disaster strike. But guess what that would do? Give me lots of things to write about, but still not focus on the Danged Main Story. Good Grief.

People are sad around here and I don't know how to help them. Feelings are raw. Everyone is angry, grumpy, hurt, hypersensitive. We have had arguments where we had none before. I think I will sleep with Grumpy Bear myself tonight. Maybe he will take the grumpys from me, and then I can share him out.

Work is complicated and requires focus. Things are changing there and I need to focus on right positioning. But I don't have a moment to consider because I am busy and distracted. Dang it.

All this overshadows so many wonderful things, so much to be thankful for. I will meditate on these things. Like, for example, the incredible and colorful maple trees in the yard. They are beautiful and growing well. We did well when we added them to the landscape. Or better than that, my grandchildren. These two amazing little people are simply a blast. They make me laugh a million times over. They are a gift, such a gift. I hope they know how much I adore them. They light my life.

I am gifted with these incredible Maine Coon cats. They are a blessing, making me laugh every day. And have the opportunity to "puppy sit" Ama's little puppy Zuko. He came to visit and just was the happiest creature on the planet, making me smile again with every fiber in my being. ADR and Mr. Bryant spent some time working this weekend on this amazing fence. Soon it will fill our view and I am conflicted about that; however, it will also protect our loved ones, all of them. It is an incredible piece of work and will have artistic elements added before it is all over.

I am thankful that Redwood Trail Leonbergers' Clementine Girl had 9 healthy puppies and that the labor and delivery are over and everyone is fine. And tonight, I am thankful that I could figure out how to access the PC's files from the Macintosh, and for the handy help of the internet. And also that my husband loves me so very well that he knows when to tease me - and when to stop teasing me.

My family is a blessing too, even if I don't understand them all so much. I think I need to go call my mother.

I hate to wish away a single moment of time, and so I won't. Although I think about it, I will not give in. I will dig in, I will find a way through, I will stay the course. I will keep calm, I will carry on, and I will find a way to happiness in the now.

A soup day

2010-11-08T08:45:00.005-05:00

It is beautiful looking out the window here today. Everyone alive on the planet should get to enjoy this view. Today from my office window tucked up under the eaves I can see those amazing sunny, crisp, Carolina-blue skies. Blue so clear it almost hurts. Cold though, especially in the mornings. Cold enough for a little warm soup tonight for our rescheduled family dinner.

We are cranky. So I am making Mulligatawny. We need the bite of the pepper to bite us back and balance our mood. Two big pots. And some nan and rice to ladle the soup over.

And apple caramel cheesecake for dessert.

Ok. I can do that.

How does that sound?

Open Hands, Open Heart, Fearless

2010-11-06T16:02:00.011-04:00

Family dinner, one day last December

What do you need to open your clenched fist and release to God? Now is the time to let go. Embrace God's truth. Hebrews 4:7b says, "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts."

It takes unimaginable fearlessness to keep an open hand and open heart. It takes incredible faith.

I am proud of the fearlessness of my children. They are fierce in their determination to stay in the moment and live through any challenge. They are both gifted, sensitive, brilliant and wise, and they bring a shining to the world that will not be diminished. They have been surrounded by many caring and loving adults all their lives, mother & father, step-mother & father, aunts and uncles, neighbors and friends. Both of them have leveraged these adults in different ways, but they have often considered their insight, advice, perspectives, views, and beliefs before coming to their own conclusions. They are the sum of many amazing people now as adults - and completely and totally themselves as strong individuals.

They are supported by loved ones from every direction, and drawing on that support, they are standing firm with their hands open in spite of their numbing and breathtaking pain, to honor their father's memory. I know he is proud of them as well.

Girls and Books

2010-11-06T11:16:00.004-04:00

My amazing and lovely friends have rallied around me, from everywhere and unexpectedly. Friends from the internet, friends from the neighborhood, friends from the office - dear ones that somehow have managed to understand my conflicts and the challenges of life that are confronting me. What a gift you all are.

Last night, girls that I had not talked to in months took me out for drinks. A few of my Book Club girls (we have been slack at reading over the summer!). We snacked, talked silly gossip, talked about kids, laughed. Then they turned to me and said - so, do you want to talk about anything?

All my conflicts and feelings burst out, and they listened to all the sides of the story that I had in hand. They gave me perspective. They helped me get a handle on what was happening. They gave me insight into my own feelings from a different perspective.

And oh, how amazing - after all the talking and brief tearing up and laughing and sharing, I truly truly felt better. Able to cope. Able to be much more peaceful. I know all the trite comments about "you will feel better after talking," but goodness, I did! Oh, the preciousness of friends that listen, that call you out when you are not making sense, that give you honest perspective, that show that you are valued and keep you real. Thank you to my beloved true friends. You are a gift beyond measure.

grey.

2010-11-04T10:35:00.023-04:00

I mourn in grey, grey as the sleeted wind, the bled shades of twilight, gunmetal, battleships, industrial paint. -- Marge Piercy

I surprised myself and fell in love with David when I was 19. He was a loner, figured things out in his own way, and I liked that. He was quiet - a deep thinker - at least that's what I thought then, and an earth child, a youngest son. He had a fast car and took me everywhere. We drove down skyline drive every Friday just so I could get chocolate. He swept me off my feet. He was a skinny little thing, and so was I, and were both innocence and fiery belief. We had the world at our feet.

Dave had a big group of friends and we did everything together. We went to big state parks and hiked and walked and held hands and loved nature. We camped in deep snows and warm summers. We cooked out and took trips on lakes and down rivers; we swam in the quarry. We had a blast, a total blast. I went back to school at the Community College and Dave picked me up afterward and we went to parties almost every night. We both smoked up a storm, Kools were all the rage and we smoked three packs a day. We were rebellious and young and completely joyful.

When my parents informed me that they were moving away, Dave took me to lunch at a little pub we loved - The Lion. It was an unusually clear day in late summer, and I remember the light shining through all the windows at the restaurant, glinting off the water glasses on the table. While we ate we were talking about how I needed to make a decision - was I moving away with my parents or was I going to stay and get an apartment? Dave leaned back from the table and told me that he felt out of breath, a little light headed. I was concerned - are you ok? He said - I just need to ask you something. He grabbed one of those sparkling water glasses and gulped, then said - will you marry me?

He was good at surprising me back then.

Young as I was, I said yes. And young as we both were, we went through all the motions and plans. We had all the fights that you have as your wedding day approaches. We argued over who to have in the wedding, what colors people should wear, where we would have the reception, what kind of reception we would have. We found an apartment and signed a lease, and then two weeks later found a house in the country and broke the lease. We married in April and played at creating a life. We made new friends, we hiked and camped and cooked and gardened. We loved the outdoors and had dogs and cats and lots of plants. I remember being surprised when I realized that I had a hobby of my own, that I was becoming a person on my own, was making decisions that mattered. I also remember both of us being surprised at how very much we fought after our first year together. Every single day, about every single thing. Dave quit smoking. I didn't. I picked up a second job and worked all the time. We tried to get focused on just being happy. It was very very hard.

Two years later I was working in the medical laboratory (Accutech) and gave myself a test. Dave was working at the hospital (St. Josephs) and came to pick me up. We went to a bar to discuss what next, and decided that we were ready for kids and the responsibility that would come in our lives. We were ready to make some changes. We moved closer to the city and now I quit smoking. Dave started again. I was just 22 and he was just 24, and no matter what we thought, we were still babies.

While pregnant with our first child the movie "The China Syndrome" came out. We loved Jane Fonda and saw the movie as a call to action. We went to a rally, held up signs, chanted, we had found something to be activists about. And then, not two weeks later, Three Mile Island had an incident of its own.

I remember how hard it was not to be afraid those days. The radio didn't know what was going to happen, there was a cloud over the plant, winds were blowing, what would be the impact, what should we do? I was actually at Dr. McTammany's when we heard about the accident, and I asked him for advice. Can this hurt my unborn baby? He said - if you have somewhere to go, you should go - at least until we learn what all this means. And so we packed up the car that night and drove to North Carolina. We stayed with my parents for two weeks, then went back to Reading to work out the next few months and have our baby boy. When he was six months old we packed everything up and moved to the south.

David left behind all of his friends, as I did - but I did have my family about 30 minutes away. David found a job and drove at least 45 minutes every day to work. He worked long hours and I kept house and was a mom - and we had some pretty good times for a while. We lived in the country on 200 amazing acres of property, and had pets, met friends, had dinners and parties. Then, I am not sure why, we started with the arguing again. We tried to find our way with each other but just kept missing. Dave said, "I am how I am." He stayed out later and later of an evening and the fights cranked up. Soon we were both working, both driving, our son was in day care that he hated, and we were rather miserable. Our youth and lack of experience in relationships was getting the best of us, and we were falling into a dreadful codependent trap, each enabling the bad behavior of the other.

We had fallen in love with the south though - the weather, the people, the countryside, the music, and most of all the beach. Ah, the beach! Close enough to drive down every week all summer. Close enough to hear the ocean. Close enough to LOVE the sand - in every weather. Close enough to love love love.

Eventually we moved to Charlotte to be closer to work. Eventually we got pregnant again, had another baby, moved from apartment to apartment. Life swirled around us. New jobs, new church, new people, new opportunities. My brother was killed. Our dogs and cats died. We bought a new house. We fought. We made friends and lost friends. We grew apart - and then grew apart some more. We took trips to the beach every summer, we took trips to PA every fall. We visited with family. We had birthday parties and Christmas celebrations. We went through all the motions. We were always broke. We repeatedly failed to engage with each other, to talk about anything except what was happening right now. We repeatedly failed to find anything in common with each other. Surely there was more to a happy life. Right?

Then finally we broke apart. The divorce was amazingly painful and complicated. And the pain lasted a long long time. I don't think David ever forgave me, even though we agreed that we were both at fault for all the things that happened.

David moved on and found a wonderful woman who became his wife. They married, they had an amazing son, he changed jobs, bought a beautiful spacious house, made some wonderful fast friends and went on to be happy, I believe. He was not happy with me and over the course of the years made that clear, but I think he was happy in his life.

I moved on and found a wonderful man that became my husband many years later. We married once my children were grown. We certainly fought, but rarely and only about a few subjects. We have been amazingly happy, and truly, Mr. Bryant has been the unexpected and undeserved gift of my life. He always makes me laugh, he always comes through, he is the treasure of my days. And so very important, when he is an ass he eventually admits it. :)

In the last few years since Amanda graduated from college, Dave made it clear that he didn't need to talk to me anymore - our kids were grown. He didn't like me, he didn't want to be 'friends.' I got it, and so I stayed away, respecting his position. I vacillated between not thinking about the very broken relationship (most of the time) to sad or angry (occasionally).

And now he is gone while still relatively young. Gone in a flash, gone beyond, gone.

I sit at home and cry. Mr. Bryant holds me and tells me that it is ok for me to feel bad. He helps me back to reality, to a balanced perspective. He loves me very well and with all of his heart. I call my kids, tell them that I love them and that if there is anything I can do to let me know. Mr. Bryant loves them too, and sends his love to help them. With all the losses of my life, I have never lost a parent. I know grief, but I don't know this grief.

I am anguished by the lack of reconciliation, and angry with myself for being selfish. This isn't about me. This isn't about me at all. Yet here I sit.

I go through old pictures and vividly remember the times they show. I haven't thought about these things in, well, ever. I am letting the sadness pour over me. And when I can, I will get up and move beyond.

Thank you David, for the early years. And for my amazing children.

I truly hope and pray that you found everything you wanted in your life.

wordless wednesday 11/03/2010

2010-11-03T13:20:00.007-04:00

Alive

2010-11-02T11:16:00.006-04:00

Last night was a late night. We had a big family dinner planned, with eleven places set. June and Jay came down, Michael cooked. We had candles lit and wine poured. We had beer in tall glasses and sparkling cider for the kids. The menu was the fantastic and super simple - campfire chicken, with a tossed salad, home made biscuits, and a sampler of baked goodies for dessert. I thought I would have tons of pictures to share, and lots of stories to tell.

Instead, the kids got a sudden call and needed to head off to their father's house (my ex-husbands) for a meeting. Odd, right? ADR and AMA hopped in her car and took off. Ry took the kids out back to kick around a ball - I think they were playing foursquare. Inside, we poured another glass of wine and kept on prepping dinner, taking the biscuits out of the oven and putting salads and dressings on the table. Just before calling the kiddos into the house my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"
"momma" sniffle, sob...
"Honey?"
mumble mumble murple blumfph.

I walked in to the bedroom and closed the door.
"What?"
"He has a week, momma."
"What?"
"A week to live."
"ohmygod. ohmygod. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry."

I sat down hard on the chair, unbidden tears springing to my eyes. We had a life together once. He is the father of my children. And my children are overwhelmed with grief.

I want to believe that where there is life there is hope. I tell the kids to hold on to hope.

Today, kidney function is decreasing. Today, he can not breathe unassisted. Today, conflict and sadness.

The way we used to do

2010-11-01T08:57:00.008-04:00

Michael and I have been spending time reminiscing about how things used to be and the way life was. We grew up in the late 50’s and the 1960’s, and like many of us, we miss our very own "good old days." It seemed like there was less crime and more compassion. A history of leaving food out for the “hobos” that came through the alley periodically (grandmother used to put food out back at the back shed door the first Thursday of every month).

There was a greater sense of community in those days, a sense that we were all in this together. People sat out on their front porches of an evening – even when those porches were small and we were really sitting on the steps. We knew our neighbors, we walked to friends houses all over. Traffic was much slower, we felt safe walking on the neighborhood streets. We even knew the policemen that patrolled in the neighborhood, and felt perfectly comfortable calling them with questions as well as to ask for help when we needed it. Everyone took time to be patient, to hear each other out. At least that is what it seemed like.

We had a party line on the phone, and knew the phone operators. What a hoot the party line was!

We rode our bikes around all summer long, and late into the school year. Every home didn’t have a basketball hoop – we rode to the park or the school, where there were four that we could share. We all gathered together to play, and the playgrounds were heavily used all the time after school. We even had public swimming pools that we got dropped off at in the morning, then picked up at 2ish on a summer afternoon! We took our lunches and had a blast, and the lifeguards were listened to like the ultimate rule.

We walked everywhere too, to the bus stop, to the school, home, to the corner store. Much more walking, much less driving and getting rides. Lots more exercise. Lots of kids walked the neighborhood all the time to sell magazines (TV Guide) and to handle newspaper routes. We sold sub sandwiches, getting up at 5 to meet at the store to make them and deliver them on Sub-Saturday. We washed dishes at the restaurants – all the plates, silverware, and glasses. Not the pots & pans – that was too much for the young ones. It was wonderful to get a job, have a way to make your own money. Today, I think the only way for a kid to have a job is if their parents give it to them. Why is that? Kids can make a great contribution.

Everyone wrote thank you notes, dressed up for birthday parties, even wore hats and gloves for dressy occasions. Can you believe it? That wasn’t so long ago, you know? I do wish we could go back to those days again. I miss the engagement, the knowing people up and down the street, the roots that we put down and the commitment in our communities. I miss the days of kids earning money and learning social skills by playing with their friends. I miss the human interaction and the honest discussions that taught us how to understand and work through disagreements.

***

I also miss the incredible and amazing belief that we honestly believed that everyone shared - the amazing unlimited unimaginable future -- of the United States of America, and of humanity. We saw all the glorious marvels of science and just knew that the future was going to be incredible! Hover boards, unlimited energy, more leisure time, more health. No one hungry, everyone educated, the incredible promise that science would take us to the moon and beyond while improving life on earth beyond our wildest dreams! A belief that God had given us everything we need to figure everything out and make life the best it could be here on earth for everyone.

Mike's Here!

2010-10-31T13:30:00.004-04:00

I have loved this guy for all my whole life that I can remember. At LEAST since I was three.

He thought I was too little to play with, especially as he got older. He wouldn't even let me look at his National Geographic Magazines when he was 13. But I used to hang out at his house anyway (one of my favorite places to visit) and when he wasn't around I would go right through those magazines. And all the books. And even look under his bed.

And all these years later, I still love this guy. All to pieces. :)
So glad we are getting a visit. Whoo Hoo!

Life Moving

2010-10-29T12:47:00.011-04:00

When we last talked I was doing some traveling for work. That travel cut into my updating time and into my "real life." I love seeing my friends and colleagues across the country in a face to face setting. We have the opportunity to be more casual in our interaction and to get to know each other better. However, I hate travel - planes are uncomfortable no matter where you sit, other people are everywhere, leaning over your book, interrupting your thoughts, listening to your phone calls, gazing at you from across the aisles - and that doesn't even account for the security lines and checks, the indignity of being treated with complete disregard, and the lack of trust. Add in the unsanitary public rest rooms and the rudeness of fellow passengers, and you have a perfectly dreadful experience. Yuk.

So glad to be home, folks. So very glad.

Getting back home meant catching up on everything. While I was gone, Mr. Bryant and Mr. Rentschler were working on the new old pick up truck, and did some very cool work on the engine.

They also replaced the horn and Mr. Rentschler was able to drive home in the very cool 66.

Mr. Bryant had been working diligently on the fence and made some good progress. And plans were in place for Mr. Bryant senior to come down to Charlotte on a Friday and spend a day and night for visit and a trip to the car show!

We cleaned up and organized the guest room and got a brand new bed in preparation. The kittens love the new bed, especially since it provides an unfettered view of the parakeets!!! They enjoy watching them, and as long as we are in the room with them all is well.

Mr. Bryant senior slept quite well in the guest room, and our cousins enjoyed the suite above the garage. The trip to the car show was excellent fun, and the visiting afterward lasted late into the evening. We had an amazing four course breakfast and then our company went off in search of more adventures. Meanwhile, Mr. Bryant went outside and finished a pergola.

He is working diligently. He wants to have the fence and all gates completed before Christmas. He is feeling the pressure more than we expected, because over the course of the last five days we made a decision.

***

It has been almost 10 years since we have had a big dog around here. We have, of course, our wonderful Gizmo, who has become a fabulous friend to the new kittens.

And we have our new kittens, that make us laugh ever single day. But we have always had big dogs, and we have missed big dogs since we lost Chrissie, and we have been talking about dogs for years now. So with the advent of the fence we began some dog research.

We looked at Bernese Mountain Dogs. Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs. Kuvasz. Great Pyrenees. And then we found the Leonbergers. We had never heard of them, and as we began to do our research, we were both enamored. The Leo's are big dogs, rare dogs, very athletic. They swim, have webbed feet and layered coats (like our Newf), and are very intelligent.

***

On Sunday, after all that cleaning and buying and organizing and visiting and eating, we went to meet some Leonbergers at Mandolin Trails Kennel in Virginia.

What amazing and wonderful dogs. They had longer legs than we expected, and fantastic personalities. We visited with the owners and talked dogs for quite a long time. After getting home we really reflected on dogs, what we wanted, what kind of dog we wanted, our favorite characteristics. We talked about how many dogs we wanted, and why, and talked about how much we missed Chrissie, Buck, and Tony.

We talked about why now was the right time to get a dog - or two. And when we came to a conclusion, we called Mandolin Trails and asked about getting one of their female puppies in December - and are working with other breeders to find a male puppy to get quite soon as well.

!!!!

Take a look at this lovely laughing momma.

And then, these two leos - one a youngster and one much older - and their patience as they obey the "LOOK" command from their owner, rather than much on the tempting treat that is on their paw. :)

So it looks like we will need that fence soon, and we will be heading back up to Virginia in December to get our first Christmas Present. We have been busy this month!

For the rest of today I am going to take it easy, as Max and I work on our plans for NaNoWriMo.

To RG

2010-10-14T02:09:00.005-04:00

Nope, not changing it substantially.

Considered it, looked at everything, read it again, decided that things are evolving and I am ok letting that happen slowly. So nothing drastic, but some good things to keep in mind.

How to take feedback? Listen carefully. Be thankful. Think and consider what you learned and what is meaningful to you. Take that, use it, and let the rest go.

To that end I get that more writing (and less time off) would be a good idea, not to mention a remembering of audience and perspective -- so I will try to get here with my stories instead of just in my head or shared as antecdotes over wine and cheese.

And thanks so much for the comments, no fanatics here today.

Wordless Wednesday 10-13-2010 - Ama's Pup

2010-10-13T08:00:00.001-04:00

Milestone?

2010-10-11T11:45:00.002-04:00

Mr. Bryant and his lovely twin Mrs. Reitzel celebrated their birthday in September. They are finally getting closer to me in age! :):) Though we didn't get to see Mrs. Reitzel, we did get to enjoy the evening with Mr. Bryant and the family. Many neighbors dropped by to visit as well, although I didn't get the cake set out before they all had to head home!

A few photos to share.....

Love you baby.

Memory sweeping over me....

2010-10-08T07:00:00.002-04:00

I went up to the attic to grab a box of pictures, and saw the cage in the corner. It looked very empty over there by itself, dusty and dreary. And suddenly the memories came over me and I was laughing and crying all at the same time.

When Rosie was away at school, probably her senior year of high school, her roommate took a little hamster from from the pet store. She hid him in her pocket and brought him to the dorm room on a fluke. She didn’t really care about the hamster - this was just a thrill for her - and she didn't take very good care of him once she had him in the room. She did play with him a lot though - taking him out, putting him in precarious situations, laughing at him, making him swim. Rosie tried not to engage too much because the hamster wasn't hers, but she loved the little creature and it hurt her that he was neglected. She would get food for him and try to be sweet to him when she could.

One week Rose got super sick and spent nearly the entire week in her bed. As a “get well” gift the roommate gave her the hammy. As soon as she was well enough to go out, Rosie bought a cage, a hamster wheel, food and toys for the little guy. She turned that hammy's life upside down, making sure he was well cared for in that crazy dorm environment. She named him Edgar.

Edgar and Rosie still had some wild outrageous times there at school - he had his fur dyed red, had the chance to share a box with a turtle, got to run wild in the hall, and generally had "hair-raising" adventures.

And then, one day, she brought him home. She said that Edgar was ready for a break. He needed a little less excitement. A quite spot to chill. But I was absolutely not ready for him. I don’t want a RODENT, I said. No. Eww.

But Rose prevailed, and put the cage in the office and went back to school. And then, to my amazement, the little tiny creature won me over with his sweetness. He took an honored place in my office and even became a bit spoiled, I think. Fresh fruits and vegetables twice a day on little tiny butter pat plates. Wonderful snacks and a rolling ball to check out the house. New well oiled wheels to exercise on.

Rosie said – Momma, I know you. I knew you couldn’t help but love him.

Jaya and I had come up to visit with him on a Saturday morning when I looked in the cage and realized he was gone. I was quite surprised at how very sad I was and my tears overwhelmed me straight from the heart. I had no idea how large a place this little tiny creature had taken for him own in my life.

Asa, Jaya, Aaron and I had a ceremony and spoke about how very much we loved Edgar before we laid him to rest.

Love surprises us in this life with such unexpected joy. I try hard to remember to delight in it when it comes and never ever take it for granted.

Thank you for enriching our lives, dearest Hammy. We loved you - and you loved us back, very well.

New Fencing

2010-10-07T02:00:00.000-04:00

Mr. Bryant and Mr. Rentschler are on to their next project. The list is getting longer every day, despite their determined focus.

Just to recap - one side of the yard fence is done. Paths around the side of the house to the front have been laid. A side flower bed has been built and planted. A gate and pergola have been designed, built, and installed. The tree-house is done and done [although we are still waiting on the tree-house-warming party for the final pictures].

And so, the rest of the fence is now due. Good timing, what with thieves about and all.

Two weeks ago, Mr. Bryant rented a big post drilling machine and he and Mr. Rentschler managed to dig all the posts for the new fence in one day. The machine was loud and super effective and the holes were both deep and wide. They ran into a few rocks and just stopped there, planning to get the rocks out by hand.

With the holes dug, they did some prep work on the posts, sanding the edges so that they had a nice bit of smooth rounding, and then they set them in the holes - where there were no rocks, of course. (HA!)

Take a look at the bones of this fence. We want our dogs to be able to see out, but we don't want anyone to get in or out except by the gate. Mr. Bryant wants the fence to help our property value over time. And he just can't do anything part way, either.

So we begin this project....

Ug.

2010-09-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

I could hardly bring myself to take the vitamins each morning in this last jar. They had been fine before. But this time, in this jar, the fish smell was overwhelming.

What I found out - one of the gel caps had melted, making all the rest sticky and coating them with the absolutely horrid odor of old fish.

If that happens to you, go get a new jar full. Make them give you your money back.

Wordless Wednesday 9-22-2010, Remmington of Old West Coons (Max & Gracie's Dad :))

2010-09-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Rant Warning - This one's a Doosey

2010-09-21T10:00:00.001-04:00

TIME GOES BY Fed Up with Elders Today

Ronni Bennett always is eloquent on her blog, as are her famous guest authors. Like Ronni, my frustration is at an all time high as I watch sheer hate and ignorance take center stage in our precious country. I keep trying to understand the motivation and position of the extremists and radical haters, but I just can't seem to crack the code. Their venom and anger is overwhelming.

I get that the population is in a sour mood because of unemployment and the economy. Frankly I am too. I am just not convicted that ignoring the past and denying history can get us past where we are today. My parents taught me that I am held accountable for my choices, and life and my religious upbringing reinforced that. It is absolutely clear to me that both heaven and earth require me – and all of us – to accept responsibility for where we are right now, and unfortunately that includes the decisions that have put us in this mess. Even though the decisions were not our own, we have to start where we are (yep, this is reality we are living in) and move forward from this place.

My parents also gave me a most precious gift – a demand that I think critically. That I work to understand and learn the truth, and not accept information at face value. That I wonder at why and how, and then consider a broad base of evidence and use analysis to make decisions and come to considered conclusions.

I thought we all learned this. Didn’t we? How can it be that there exists such an amazing lack of critical thinking going on at every level?

When did it become cool to pretend that all is well everywhere because it is well with us, that if I help out a few people I have done my duty, that all I really need to worry about is what I believe, that learning about the world and the very truth of it is not important, that what one person says is true even if everything else in their life is not, that agreeing without questioning makes for a strong platform? When did it become bad to ask questions, to think through things, to draw conclusions, to disagree? Being proud of being uninformed – really?

I watch as older Americans preach that they have never taken anything from the government and never will. I watch them shout down anyone that wants to dialog from a different position. And yet I wonder - haven’t these older people received Social Security, are they on Medicare, did they go to public schools? Did any of them attend college on the GI Bill and buy their first homes with government-backed loans? When they need to, do they call city-funded police and fire departments for help?

None of us can stand entirely on our own – a healthy society is functionally interdependent.

Traveling

2010-09-19T10:41:00.005-04:00

I am.
So no updates this week.

My hope for you this week is that little things surprise you with the power to make you smile, and that you remember the preciousness of each day and each other.

I am writing essays while traveling and hope I can share with you when I return home. Essays on -

Mr. Bryant and Mrs. Reitzel turn 50.
We learn Magic.
Dungeons and Dragons too.
Politics gets me down.
The value of Critical Thinking.
The amazing, priceless, ephemeral nature of life itself.
On the road again.

Have a wonderful week.

Thursday, 13 Things about the New Old Truck

2010-09-15T22:38:00.010-04:00

1) We had been looking for months to find ADR his birthday truck, and finally just gave him the cash. In less than 5 days, he found the old truck of his dreams! The truck was in a small farming town north of where we live, and had never been out of the small community where ADR found it. Only two other people had ever owned the truck, and now, ADR gots it.

2) ADR Absolutely Loves It. Happy Birthday, baby! Super & I are so happy you are happy.

3) SRR Absolutely Loves It, and Loves that ADR Loves It. How totally fabulous!

4) It is a 1966 pick-up truck, and that is the same year Jay D was born. When Mrs. Hanson saw the pick up truck, the distinctive style brought back tons of memories of those days. The last time it was titled was in 1979, the year ADR was born.

5) GMC made the pick-up truck, and it has pretty darn much original stuff on it & in it. The Custom logo was a factory option (like a Limited) and therefore has a little bit of finishing and trim that are standard.

6) It is pretty fun to drive, and is a V-6 engine. Super nice and very cool.

7) The shifting is "3 on the tree," and ADR had to call someone for help before he could drive it home. :)

8) The pick up truck bed is a long bed, excellent for hauling all kinds of things. The long bed is made of wood, lined with a heavy rubber mat.

9) ADR got a 1966 license plate and will be licensed to run with that plate, a "Year of Manufacture" plate.

10) Pinky loves to ride with ADR, and lays down on the long front seat - because he can! In fact, everybody likes to ride in the pick-up truck.

11) Mr. Bryant and ADR hauled their first load in it this past weekend, and that is something!

12) People stop ADR when he is driving the pick-up truck - in the parking lots, in his driveway, they pull up beside him - all to tell him - "Man, I like your truck! Cool!"

13) And Ms. Jaya Pearl? She likes to climb in the bed.

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants Here

Wordless Wednesday September 14, 2010

2010-09-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

A Charleston Quick Trip

2010-09-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

Two very VERY beautiful people.

I got to take a trip to Charleston with some of the most beautiful people I know.

It all started with Rosie's birthday, and wanting to do something grand. Before the discussions went very far, we had set up a quick weekend trip to Charleston and off we went - me, Steph, Ama, and the kids. We zipped down on Friday and back on Sunday and filled up every single moment we had with nothing but fun!

We stayed right in the historic district and though we all agree that we need to take a longer weekend for our next visit, staying at the corner of Market and Church streets was an excellent place to be.

Charleston is one of our favorite places and is even more wonderful when there is time to leisurely walk through the galleries, tour the old homes, examine the museums, and learn more about this place and its colorful history.

Our first day we walked down streets and looked at sites on our own. This is my beautiful family outside of the Circular Church on Meeting Street. [Later on this trip we were in this graveyard at night (yes, it WAS spooky), and we learned that the graveyard was established in 1681, making it one of the oldest cemeteries in Charleston.]

We strolled down the cobblestone streets and walked through a memorial park where the mother of Andrew Jackson was honored.

We came out on Broad Street and walked past famous shops, homes, and restaurants, and eventually turned up East Bay street, passing by the old Farmer's and Exchange Bank.

Love the interesting building designs and details!

We had lunch at Sermet's Corner on King's Street where we have eaten many times before, and were not disappointed. We did some shopping for dress-up clothes and shoes and found Steph a wonderful dress at White House Black Market. Asa was not happy with the book store, though, and so we vowed to find another one over the weekend.

The next day after a fantastic breakfast at Toast, we walked through some of this historic areas of the city on our way to The Griffen for a Butterbeer. We strolled out on the River Walk, past toddlers playing in the fountain.

We could see Fort Sumter to the right down the Cooper River, and the amazing Cooper River Bridge to the left.

While almost right across from us was Patriots' Point, where the USS Yorktown rests.

We took a break from all our walking with our scheduled Carriage Tour.

Of course, we had to agree to abide by the rules before the tour began....

Our guide was great, giving us a new perspective on Charleston with his stories and a more intimate history about the homes, people, and events of historic Charleston. We all admired unique architecture of the houses, administrative buildings, churches - and even the layout of the city.

Cathedral of St. John the Baptist

As we came down Legare Street we approached the Cathedral of St. John - and in all my trips to Charleston I had never passed it, nor had I ever heard the story about the Cathedral's fire and reconstruction. I had; however, been by Two Meeting Street and heard the history of this lovely home that has now been transformed into an incredible Bed & Breakfast.

Two Meeting Street - a Very Fine Bed & Breakfast destination

Other architecture and sites that we saw on the Carriage Tour below....

Mills House

Just like the houses in Charleston, the porch of our house is painted Haint Blue.

***

After the tour we walked back to the hotel and changed into our dress up clothes to make it to our dinner reservations at FIG. We all recommend you go there. It is fabulous!

After dinner we zipped back to the hotel AGAIN and changed clothes (again!) for our Ghosts and Graveyard Tour. Excellent and busy busy day!

Some exhausted kiddos!

We got up early Sunday and had a fabulous Happy Birthday Amanda Gift Exchange and Breakfast at Joseph's. We has to wait in line a bit for breakfast, but they gave us coffee and juice and that made everything a-ok.

After filling up and celebrating, we walked through the market and then headed to the Exchange and Provost Dungeon, taking the tour there.

Waving goodbye to Charleston from the balcony of the Old Exchange

Once done, we stopped back by the hotel for final check out and packed in the car for home - but not before stopping at Blue Bicycle Books for Asa to find something special to read on the way. :)

Thievery

2010-09-09T06:00:00.002-04:00

1) When there is a thief in the picture, somebody always gets hurt. They often grab whatever they see, and when they get to look at their loot, they often find they didn't even want what they took. The items may not be valuable at all - but often have a personal or sentimental context - and the thief will never understand it.

2) Thievery hurts people of all ages and in every way. Folks get hurt on either side - by being a thief or by being victimized by a thief. Thieves bring a false bravado to everything they do. So now they are not only thieves. They are liars too.

3) Robin Hood. He was a thief.

4) Unfortunately, most thieves don't "take from the rich and give to the poor." Instead, they take from people who don't have much and give to people who don't value much.

5) Thieves leave heartache in their wake. The year after my younger brother was killed in a car wreak, I carried his picture around with me in my briefcase. I also had a very old "Book of Common Prayer" that I kept with me, a gift from my Grandmother. Thieves broke into my car and stole my briefcase. There was no computer in it, no money, nothing of value. But the thieves got the picture and the Book of Common Prayer. They probably threw them in a dumpster. I kept the heartache.

6) Thieves create a life event, impacting you many years after their thievery. They make you into a victim - and that is something you have to fight the rest of your life.

7) After becoming a victim of a theft, people are often left feeling violated, paranoid, and afraid.

8) Thieves in fiction are often romanticized, with goodness on their side. They are portrayed as characters of interest, depth, and delight.

9) Thieves in Dungeons and Dragons and other fantasy games have really keen senses, can identify traps and poisons, and are cunning.

10) Thieves in real life are creeps who drive around in black Subaru's or Blazers and steal patio furniture. Big Difference.

11) My favorite thief character is named Royce, and you can read about him in The Riyria Revelations, by Michael Sullivan.

12) The old saying is that there is honor among thieves. Apparently this was true in ages long ago - The concept is found in [c 1622-3 Soddered Citizen (1936) l. 305] Theeues haue betweene themselues, a truth, And faith, which they keepe firme, by which They doe subsist; [1703 P. A. Motteux Don Quixote ii. lx.] The old proverb still holds good, Thieves are never rogues among themselves.

However, in today's world, it seems that more often than not, human greed is stronger than human loyalty, and that no promise is safe from the corruption of money, drugs, and power. Very sad.

13) Mean People Suck.

Wordless Wednesday September 8, 2010

2010-09-08T07:00:00.002-04:00

Birthday Boys

2010-09-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

Mr. Hanson and Mr. Rentschler, kicking back.

We took a Saturday to celebrate our wonderful birthday boys. It had been a really busy week and we had not had any time to buy groceries or make wonderful picnic foods, so we got up super early and made our grocery list. After running to Trader Joes and to the regular grocery store, we had to make salad, cake, and burgers, and pack everything up for the party.

As you might imagine, we were running late.

By the time we got the car packed, it looked like we were heading off for weeks. Good Grief.

We had drinks and paper goods (plates, cups, napkins), folding chairs, bathing suits and towels, wonderful turkey burgers and condiments (cheese, ketchup, mustard, pickles, lettuce, fresh cut tomatoes), a yummy Asian Noodle Salad (recipe from the Pioneer Woman), and a Texas Sheet Cake. We were off to the lake at a good clip. When we arrived most of the family was already at the picnic site. We took three picnic tables to hold all of our wonderful goodies!

As we got things unpacked, we realized that three of us had brought different styles of salad with pasta! Good Grief! Each salad was yummy and different, but we had not expected that we would have a Tale of Three Pasta Salads to tell!

Mr. Bryant got the grill going and we chatted and munched on snacks as the food got ready.

Ryan took the kids down for a quick swim, and by the time they got back to the picnic area the food was ready.

Loaded Turkey Burgers, a family specialty

I can't smile, the sun is in my eyes!

ok, I'll try cause I love you.

Yum Cake!

Mr. McFadden and Mr. Bryant kicking back.

The lovely Mrs. McFadden and Mrs. Hanson

After yummy lunch and happy birthday singing, and the awarding of the gifts, Rosie and Ryan had to skip out to work. Mr. Hanson got a new Kindle and some books (among other things) and Mr. Rentschler got a new wheel barrow and the $$ to buy and Old Truck (among other things)!!!

We all shared more stories and laughed at most of them, and eventually Stephanie and I hung out with the kiddos at the lake for another cooling dip.

It's hot out here!

We had a blast! Thanks for the great excuse to have a picnic, gents. And Happy Happy Happy Birthday! We love you!

Move Along, Move Along....

2010-09-03T07:00:00.005-04:00

I am getting my mind ready to write.
In November I will do my second NaNoWriMo.
What happened to that first amazing novel?
It languishes on my laptop, wishing I would both finish it and mightily edit it. The novel and I both know (as do the characters, each and every one of them) that there is a wonderful, fun, interesting story started here. We understand that some major changes are required to remove the rambling, the nonsense, the back-story, the long paragraphs that don't really drive movement, the flowing descriptions of the landscape that can wait.

It is clear that the reading now is painful - but
the bones of the story are exceptionally white, amazingly strong.
We know that there is more pain and choice and LIFE that can be added. More growth and depth.
Much more work is needed here. We need a focused editing month.

And so, as we prepare for November, instead of planning on a deep dive into that first story, I am already off, thinking about the new story. Preparing the outline. Thinking about interviews. Considering the background. Building excitement and suspense in my mind.

Why would I leave the first for the second?
Planned novel 2 has been a story idea in my mind for several years. The time has come to write it. The story will be a romance loosely based on reality - and so now is the time to talk to the folks that were involved, to make sure that the sense of reality is included - or not included - appropriately.

I am inspired.
Inspired to do the research.
And also....
concerned
about doing the research.

Why?

To do the honest research, I have to ask some very difficult questions of some loved ones. I need to put people on the spot.
Get folks to talk about things they want to forget.
Understand the real story, so I can create the fictional one
with all the underlying solidity.
At least, I think that's what I need to do.
The research.

Maybe...maybe I can just make it up.
But oh, I feel the desire...to write...and I want to write
the truth of it.

***
In Paradise there are no stories, because there are no journeys.
It’s loss and regret and misery and yearning that drive the story forward, along its twisted road.
***

– Margaret Atwood
[from The Blind Assassin]

Maine Coon Cats

2010-09-02T02:00:00.004-04:00

1) Maine Coons are one of the largest domestic cat breeds. Males can weigh up to 25 pounds and females as high as twenty! Our little boy is 6 months old and is at 10 pounds right now.

2) Maine Coons are slow growers, like many large breeds. We will get to enjoy this kitten stage for several years and our little ones will reach adult size and behavior between three & four.

Fur
3) The Maine Coon is America’s native longhair cat. Their fur is in two layers, an undercoat and then the longer silky top coat. This keeps them warm in cold winters and provides insulation and resistance to water.

Paws

4) Their paws are very large and well tufted. (Tufts in between the toes are an essential feature for a Maine Coon.) With their large paws, they are capable of scooping up objects, toys and food using their paws. They can even stretch themselves up and use their flexible paws to open doors using door knobs!

Tail
5) Their amazing tail is one of the most unmistakable features of the Maine Coon. The tail grows to be as long and thick, and when they lived as farm cats they could cover up with their tail to stay warm.

Behavior
6) Maine Coons are often described as having dog-like behavior. They will follow you around, they will sit at your feet, will come to greet you (whenever you’ve been out), they will fetch and retrieve, they will also carry favorite objects such as a toy stick in the mouth and drop it at your feet.

7) Just like Maine Coons everywhere, my kittens always want to “help.” When something is happening in the house, we are on the computer, doing housework, putting things together, just about anything, they want to be in the middle, sitting on the computer keyboard, chasing after the broom, joining in and participating!

8) Maine Coons definitely have their own voice. This is one of the most special things about these cool cats. They are very talkative and engaging, using a distinctive vocabulary of chirps, peeps and trills to communicate – in addition to their meows and purrs.

9) These cats simply love water. It is the most amazing thing! They play in it, dip their paws in it, sit in the tub and watch the faucet drip, shake it all over the floor. The theory is that this personality trait comes from their ancestors, who were aboard ships for much of their lives.

10) Maine Coons are loyal, people-loving cats with a laid back temperament. They are highly intelligent and learn new games and household routines quickly. And they also get along well with children and other pets- even dogs.

Fame!
11) On May 8, 1895, the first North American cat show was hosted at Madison Square Garden in New York City – and the winner of this first show was a female Maine Coon brown tabby, named Cosey!

12) In 1985, the state of Maine announced that the breed would be named the official State Cat. The Maine Coon is the second most popular cat breed, according to the amount of kittens registered with the CFA.

13) Mrs. Norris in the Harry Potter film series is a Maine Coon. Three Maine Coons were used to build the part of this cat, but the one that had the most film time was Pebbles.

I found this write up about getting her ready for the act - Mrs. Norris was a scrawny, ill-kept and matted creature who constantly patrolled the corridors, looking to catch even the smallest student infraction. Three Maine coons played the part of Mrs. Norris. The unkempt appearance was achieved using a collar with fake fur attached. In addition, hair was spiked up using a non-toxic hair gel. Mrs. Norris’ malevolent red eyes were achieved using digital effects, not contact lenses.

Wordless Wednesday, September 1, 2010

2010-09-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

The New House

2010-08-30T06:00:00.003-04:00

Mr. and Mrs. McFadden found a new old house. They fell in love with the charm of the house, the yard, the landscaping, the space - and before we knew what was happening they bought it! We spent weeks too busy to head to the mountains, and finally the weekend came when we could actually go for a visit. We took a housewarming gift that we knew these two news junkies would love and headed up to the mountains.

And what a wonderful visit! We took a tour around the beautiful yard and saw all the cool landscaping and potential. There is so much room and so many beautiful plantings, they will be busy for many months restoring the property to its glory days. We learned about the history of the development and of this old house. We took a trip to town for a yummy Mexican lunch, and then stopped and got Fabulous Peaches from a roadside vendor.

We took a little time to browse through an antique shop - you never know what you will find - and Mrs. McFadden scored some marvelous tea glasses. I can't wait to enjoy some iced tea at the breakfast nook...

...or on the amazing spacious front porch! I love the screened in porch, and there is space for little ones to play and space to sit and enjoy the birds and sounds of the outside, too.

Mr. Bryant and Mr. McFadden took a little break to talk about ancestors and TV shows, about fear of the dark and love of the mountains. The living room looked enormous after their other cozy little cottage.

I walked around snapping pictures of the wide hallway and admiring the built in china cabinet, but couldn't resist how happy even the puppies are with their new space.

Bliss, pure bliss.

Mrs. McFadden looks pretty happy too, in her spacious house in the mountains, surrounded by trees and grass with lovely rooms and a full basement, filled with history and light, windows and big rooms, extra bedrooms and lots of cabinet space, and now with every day joy.

We stayed longer than we expected, but we had such a good time and the house is simply charming! Karla is planning to host Thanksgiving, and we are planning to be there as scheduled!

The Thursday Thirteen - Random

2010-08-26T07:54:00.004-04:00

1) It is easy to think you can come up with thirteen things to share - but it is more difficult than expected to get them down on paper.

2) Seriously, when you decide to be happy, your life gets happier.

3) Family is wonderful and matters all your life. Making time for family is hard to do, but it pays incredible dividends. So go call your mother.

4) Relationships are the bedrock of family life and our society. A commitment to relationship is a commitment to talk to people, to stay in relationship when the going gets really hard, to be open, to listen, to learn, and to love.

5) Living who you are is the hardest and simplest thing you can do to make your life better, right now.

6) It takes much longer to get physically fit as you get older. Heed the warning and go exercise, Right Now!

7) It is impossibly hard to lose the last ten pounds. Impossibly hard, I tell you.

8) As fast as I work, I can’t seem to work fast enough to get things done early, and so I feel like I am always rushing around. Some of my colleagues take their time at work, and I appreciate them for it. I just haven’t figured out how they do it!

9) I am in love with fonts. They let you do incredible things to documents, headings, publishing. I am finding some very cool ones and want to play with them more.

10) On Friday last week I fell off the bike and then got in a fight. And yes, Mr. Bryant, I learned my lesson from it.

11) I finally notice my legs are getting stronger and I can ride much faster. Hooray!

12) Sometimes even the very best people can be absolute creeps. Usually, they recognize it – later.

13) My kittens are simply amazing. The next 13 things will be all about these Maine Coon Kittens.

Early School Lessons Worth Keeping

2010-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

link

Gizmo

2010-08-22T07:00:00.002-04:00

Gizzy has been a real delight for us. Once the formal "passing of the pup" ceremony was concluded, Gizmo seemed to settle down and relax as a member of the family. He loved us to pieces, loved his daily walk, and loved Luka too. We think they enjoyed having each other around, and often came home to find them hanging out together on the living room floor, or on Gizmo's blankets.

When we lost Luka, Gizmo was as sad as we were. We spent months just being three in the house, and we know that he didn't like being all alone when we were out.

Enter Max and Gracie. They absolutely ADORE Gizmo. They want to be where he is, they want to play with him, they play with his dog treats, they hang out. It is so cool to see them actually enjoy each other! When I take the pet dishes upstairs to feed everyone in the evening, Gracie races up the steps and talks to me the whole time I am getting the food ready. Sometimes, I call and call for Max and he just never shows. Then I will walk down the steps to the landing and see Max and Gizmo laying side by side at the bottom of the staircase, looking up to me as I bring the food bowls down.

Gizmo played hard to get when they first moved in, but now he plays catch with them - they pass him the dog treat, he catches it and eats it!

Loving this pup - what can I say?

Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Dowager Cixi, said:

Let the Lion Dog be small; let it wear the swelling cape of dignity around its neck; let it display the billowing standard of pomp above its back.

Let its face be black; let its forefront be shaggy; let its forehead be straight and low.

Let its eyes be large and luminous; let its ears be set like the sails of war junk; let its nose be like that of the monkey god of the Hindus.

Let its forelegs be bent; so that it shall not desire to wander far, or leave the Imperial precincts.

Let its body be shaped like that of a hunting lion spying for its prey.

Let its feet be tufted with plentiful hair that its footfall may be soundless and for its standard of pomp let it rival the whick of the Tibetans' yak, which is flourished to protect the imperial litter from flying insects.

Let it be lively that it may afford entertainment by its gambols; let it be timid that it may not involve itself in danger; let it be domestic in its habits that it may live in amity with the other beasts, fishes or birds that find protection in the Imperial Palace.

And for its color, let it be that of the lion - a golden sable, to be carried in the sleeve of a yellow robe; or the colour of a red bear, or a black and white bear, or striped like a dragon, so that there may be dogs appropriate to every costume in the Imperial wardrobe.

Let it venerate its ancestors and deposit offerings in the canine cemetery of the Forbidden City on each new moon.

Let it comport itself with dignity; let it learn to bite the foreign devils instantly.

Let it be dainty in its food so that it shall be known as an Imperial dog by its fastidiousness; sharks fins and curlew livers and the breasts of quails, on these may it be fed; and for drink give it the tea that is brewed from the spring buds of the shrub that groweth in the province of Hankow, or the milk of the antelopes that pasture in the Imperial parks.

Thus shall it preserve its integrity and self-respect; and for the day of sickness let it be anointed with the clarified fat of the legs of a sacred leopard, and give it to drink a throstle's eggshell full of the juice of the custard apple in which has been dissolved three pinches of shredded rhinoceros horn, and apply it to piebald leeches.

So shall it remain - but if it dies, remember thou too art mortal.

Huevos Rancheros!

2010-08-21T07:00:00.000-04:00

Mr. Bryant couldn't be at Ama's birthday celebration, as he was traveling. So he called and invited her to Sunday Breakfast.

In an unrelated event, Mr. Bryant and I watched "Bobby Flay's Ultimate Throwdown," and the episode was "Huevos Rancheros!" We always enjoy it when we catch one of these shows, even though Bobby's recipes are typically more complicated than we want to try. But throughout the show we had a great discussion on this classic Mexican dish, and by the time it was over Mr. Bryant had made a decision - "That's what I will make for Sunday Breakfast!" And he did.

Rosie and Ryan come over very early and we were all ready for the coffee that Mr. Bryant had ready (thank heavens!).

Good morning, Rose!

We sat down to Huevos Rancheros with all the trimmings and some fresh fruit on the side. Absolutely perfect.

Yum, what a great birthday breakfast, with a Barry the G-Gnome card for Rosie and more presents as well! Nice!

The Garden in the Heat of August

2010-08-20T07:00:00.001-04:00

Mr. Bryant's garden was supposed to be mostly tomatoes - but that was before the pumpkin from last Halloween decided to sprout and take things over. Things are really beautiful in this hottest time of the year with all the garden colors.

The pumpkins vine is actually beginning to die from the heat, but the pumpkins have already grown nice, round, and orange. The colors in the garden run from yellow and orange through all shades of green and then to red.

There are accents of bright purple where the morning glories have wound their way through the other vines. Below you can see some of the delicious orange cherry tomatoes from Karla - they are so sweet it is unbelievable.

Mr. Bryant's crepe myrtle is still blooming its beautiful blooms. It gives us color and shade all summer.

And the lemon tree looks like it is going to provide an excellent crop this year, with enough lemons to maybe do a pitcher or two!

But it is the surprise of the pumpkins that has us most delighted. Finding them amidst the vines has been such fun, and the grands are really excited about carving them for Halloween - while Ama and ADR are mostly excited about the pumpkin seeds!

Wordless Wednesday, August 18, 2010

2010-08-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

Patio Furniture - Really?

2010-08-17T07:00:00.002-04:00

Doesn't that snow look nice in all this heat?

We bought our patio furniture the second summer we were in our house. It has been sitting outside in rain and sun, in heat and snow, all this time, just hanging out. We hung out on the patio furniture too. Lots. We ate there, shared many many drinks there, blew bubbles with the kids there, stayed up all night and talked there.

The back patio flooding in a major rain storm one fall.

The chairs were looking worn, I must admit. They had burn holes from the nights when we had the fire pit going. The paint on the metal was fading. And the umbrella over the table had been broken for many years. But it served us well and we were comfortable with it - why change things when they work?

Christmas 2008 - JP having an after present snack!

After our family game night at ADR and SRR's, we came home and the table and chairs were gone from the patio. It was 11:30 at night, and they had been there when we left (about 6:30 PM). Mr. Bryant was sure that someone had borrowed them. I sent a note out to our neighbors asking them to let me know, and we went to bed.

James and Karla take a break on Memorial Day.

The next morning, we were shocked to learn that no one had borrowed our furniture. Not our close friends, not our neighbors, not even people we thought might be a long shot. Good Grief. What would someone want with 7 year old patio furniture? And if you were going to take the table and chairs, why wouldn't you take the rocking chairs, the side tables, and the glider?

Pretty Karla closeup.

What is the matter with people, anyway?

FantasyQuest

2010-08-16T07:00:00.002-04:00

Picture from here. Fabulous face, Mr. Li.

We went to Mr. & Mrs. Rentschler's on Friday to play FANTASYQUEST. This game was designed by Asa, and with all the skills and imagination of an 11 year old. We had a BLAST!

We ate a light dinner and got ready to play. Asa described the rules - which are a little bit like Dungeons and Dragons - and we got started. He had us close our eyes and he described the scene with his prepared speech, complete with sound effects, echos, and fade outs. Nice! Our first task was to create our characters. Asa described the races he had created and the skills that we could choose, and as we were thinking he handed out paper and pencil so we could draw our characters. As we got started, several of us fussed that we weren't such super artists. And so, as Asa went around the table he started saying things like, "choose your character and think about what they might look like, then pass your paper down to dad so he can draw it for you!" Dad, of course, was really into his own character, very very cool, but was willing to stop and draw based on a few descriptions. His greatest piece of work was FireWings, for Jaya Pearl. What a fantastic glittery creature!

Not Mr. Rentschler's work here, instead this is from LayoutSparks. (Who Knew there were all these fantasy images on the net? Obviously I have missed a whole subculture!!!)

Mr. Bryant didn't waste any time with who was going to draw what. He decided to be a GNOME, and called his race the G-NOMIANS. While we were all thinking of heroic names, he chose his name and began drawing. By the time I looked over his shoulder, he had a picture of his character (Barry, the G-Nome) flying a bubble saucer (yes, a little flying saucer that shot bubbles out the back through two mufflers), shooting a thought cannon (almost bigger than Barry, causing all who are caught within its dreadful rays to immediately Sit and Think About What They Have Done), winning the Tour de France, and climbing Mt. Everest! Before we were all done with this part of the exercise, Barry had even acquired a PPPistol - and each time someone had to leave to head to the rest room, Barry shot them.

As you might imagine, this entire activity was filled with lots of laughing and Asa was filled with absolute joy. Once our characters were drawn and our skills were determined, we became a company of companions - Barry, Ajax, Priscilla, Pongo, Firewings, and the Dungeon Master, who came with us to help out if needed. We started through the town, purchased some goodies (like a cloak or two, some daggers, you get the idea), and as we walked out of the store we all fell into the first dungeon. Asa laughed and laughed, and then soberly brought out the dreadful dungeon map.

Play went on for another hour or so, and we had lots of fun braving the dungeon pathways and getting to the final battle. Amazingly, Barry completed an around the world tour and built an ice palace during the trip.

Barry the G-Gnome wearing his Rocket Pack, doing a fly-by over LA.

Thanks Asa, for the FUN game and thanks ADR & SRR for hosting a great family fun night!

A Captive Audience

2010-08-14T11:48:00.006-04:00

From Tugster's Journals - Original photo here.

I find myself a captive audience to an amazing new blog -
my babylonian captivity: reflections of an american hostage in iraq twenty years later

This blog was started on August 2, 2010 by Tugster (Will Van Dorp), to share his notes and memories from the experience he lived through in 1990. His story begins on Thursday, August 2, 1990 when Iraqi forces overran Kuwait. The blog contains entries through August 15th at this point.

His narrative is believable and terrifying all at once - what an experience. I encourage you to take a look. Tugster is looking for thoughts and feedback on his content, writing, format, you name it, so let him know what you think.

Not gonna work on me.....

2010-08-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.